This Is What Taught Me How and Why I Needed To Become The Leader Of My Own Life

anxiety, bipolar, courage, depression, empathetic, featured, inspiration, life changing, lifestyle, mental health, Motivation, New Year Resolutions, personal development, personal growth, self belief, self care, strength, transformation, your story

DSC_0008 (1)Last year around this time, I reflected hard on my year of decisions and memories in 2017 to create a promising vision for 2018 and even hosted a mini party with my sister to create this vision board. I saw that board every morning on the way out the front door. Sometimes it kept me in alignment with the best version of myself, it inspired me. Sometimes I’d blow it off or completely fly by it when we were running out the door.  Either way, it was the first time in a long time that I shifted my habits and did something outside my comfort zone, like holding myself accountable to take action. And to think that this tiny step in holding myself accountable in a fun, creative way (like making vision boards, crafting…)  was just practice for what 2018 had in store for me.

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I’ve had some major shifts in my life, I’m sure you’ve had years like this before too.  They kind of sting and at the same time, provide you with this confidence and deep inner strength that you didn’t know existed before, right? Well, that feeling is what I grew into (or should I say grew from) over the last 350+ days.  Nearly a full year and trip around the sun.
From the feeling of losing my mind and being petrified that I’d never come back to reality to the epiphany of seeing the larger picture in life and ultimately understanding my mind more, understanding me better. From so many “this is a first” experiences like car crashes, new friends, home invasions, loss of friendships, pregnancy… to the new endeavors, vacations, and adventures that came like planned.   Life keeps shifting as soon as it was about to get comfortable and for the most part, I actually didn’t mind it.


It was one of the hardest years, I can’t even try to deny that. But it was also so rewarding all at once. It was constant noise, movement, and change and yet I still feel so content, calm and empowered by the end of each hardship or adventure. In summary, 2018 has led me to live my life incorporating one of the many new lessons that I learned. One important one, which is this simple truth:

Life will not always go as planned, fact number one.
Life will not always go your way, fact number two. 
The way you deal with life’s uncertainty is your choice, fact number three.

You will realize when you become the leader of your life that:

1) you’re going to be okay, one way or another during life’s uncertainty


2) life is going to go even better than planned; either by chance or because you have an opportunity to make it better.

I share this because it’s taught me how to battle through the deepest depths of my mental illnesses. It’s helped me step outside my comfort zone and experience growth in such big ways. It’s helped me find like-minded people that help me grow, pushing me to become better. It’s helped me finally take action towards making some of my goals come to life and ultimately, it taught me to be the leader I needed to be in my own life. None of this would’ve been possible without realizing the power of being optimistic, empathetic and positive.  Being positive is much more than presenting a happy face to the world: you need to develop a strong sense of balance and recognize that setbacks and problems happen – it’s how you deal with those problems that make the difference.

eb1cb2a2f74b68c91811ca20c7962b29I hope this year has been easier for you in the sense of hardships or setbacks, but I also hope you had the chance to live the life you envision living and stepping into the blueprint you have for yourself, which requires uncomfortable moments and vulnerability. I believe everyone is capable of extraordinary things and each of us has unique skill sets that set us apart from each other. I hope that in some way, shape or form: you realized that you play a significant part in your life story. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond. It might not always feel like that, but when we become the leaders of our life instead of letting life lead us wherever it wants; we will learn to grow through the pain, not just go through it. On the other side, you’ll see a remarkable, courageous, strong and significant person standing in the mirror that realizes you are capable of anything you put your mind too. 




Why I am here & Do What I do (VLOG)

anxiety, Avoiding Small Talk., bipolar, contribute, depression, lets talk, life, lifestyle, mental health, mental health awareness, Mental Illness and Recovery, personal development, PTSD, self care, self-reflection, story, transformation, your story

A warm welcome to all the new visitors! The other day it dawned on me that I haven’t really shared why I write, love to connect and why I’m passionate about the things I am.

So as insomnia sat around with me the other night, I decided that 1am was a great time to talk about my purpose and passion, plus a few side tangents, haha.

If you’re new here, share the same passion for Mental Health or just want to reach out and connect– below is a little about my story! Don’t forget I’m just a click away if you need anyone to talk too & I’m totally interested in hearing your story too so leave it below please!

PS. If the video loads slowly, you can always click on the link to youtube. Right here!


The #1 Game Changing Skill You Will Need To Make Radical Transformation In Your Life!

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Remember in second grade, we got to watch and learn about the radical transformation that happens when a caterpillar transforms, with time, into a beautiful, new butterfly. (okay, Maybe you didn’t learn that in 2nd grade but you know what I mean). Remember how it took several stages that have to occur before that butterfly can unfold its wings, shed its old cocoon and set out into the world with a new set of characteristics, habits, and traits. It’s a beautiful process and speaking metaphorically, that’s the same process we, as humans, experience as we begin to radically transform ourselves into the same person, but with new habits, thinking patterns, and traits.

c58d2f68177a6ffda96173749d79d427.jpgThe truth is that everyone wants to be getting the most out of life, right? More joy, more laughter, more love peace, friends, more exploring and expanding and more money. We desire these things, naturally. But when it comes time to do the work, we tend to stay in patterns. We, as in humanity, as in me included.  Things get in our way of experiencing radical transformation. For example, our urges to please others, our need to feel a sense of belonging, and the fact we like to stay comfortable… even when that comfort is truly uncomfortable.

The only way I ever saw my own successful examples of radical transformation, like when I was working on getting control of my Depression or recently when I was working on letting go of what people thought– happen once I learned that we are always just a few decisions away from a powerfully different life experience: That’s the power we hold. Real talk on radical transformation requires one key component, one ingredient that can’t be left out. In fact, it will not occur unless you’re willing to say yes to honesty.

5fb4e068e5222c4ad93defe09f0adf2e.jpgHow easy is to be honest? “I’ll be honest about this and that, but not to this person or about that subject.”  Why is it so difficult for us to be honest? And we can’t sugarcoat it–Honesty can hurt. The truth can sting sometimes (usually all the time in self-reflection if we’re being honest). Like the last time you had to take a deep breath and be real honest about something, it was really uncomfortable, right? But it takes courage to be honest. “I am the reason this is my reality”. Once you see the truth and get clear on what’s really going on and how things are really impacting your life and how close you are to transformation; things don’t become easier, but you just broke into the most important part of beginning a radical transformation. My favorite quote from a podcast I listen to said, “You asked for transformation, but are you willing to weather the winds of change?” and oh how true that can be for me at times. 

390c703d7d7eec1a7611e417b8cf57bbHow can I have boundaries with my relationship, how can I gain control of my finances, how can I become better at controlling my depression or letting go of what people think? Whatever it is that you are wanting to transform; Well, It starts by being honest about why we want those things transformed. What isn’t working in those areas? Why do they need to be transformed? How’d you get there in the first place?

Honesty will be your anchor, allow it to guide you. Be Honest about the way you feel, the way you have felt, why you want to have a different experience.

I remember when I wanted to have a radical shift in the way I was thinking, the way my depression had control over me. Unconcionciously, I told myself it was normal though, it was okay and not my fault I felt this way, it was a part of life to live depressed and to wear a mask around those that didn’t know me. After all, they didn’t know what I’d been through or what I struggle with daily. Subconsciously, I held onto that identity because it was all I knew. It wasn’t until I was no longer willing to be that version of Carrie that I had a radical transformation.  

thecarpediemlife.comHow did I do that? I got honest. It didn’t take the sting away. It just eventually became a relief. Owning that it was my decision, my thoughts, my beliefs–that led me to let depression grip me like it was is where I had to get honest. So when I decided that I no longer wanted this identity for myself– I sat down time and time again to learn and read and enroll in therapy so I can begin to transform. I was avoiding what hurts because I thought it’d take me down, but what I learned is that when you are honest; you’re forced to be responsible.

If you’re really honest, no matter what someone has done to you or even circumstances outside your control– it’s always our choice and responsibility to continue to choose to live like this or that, be there or to leave. 

Being honest isn’t sprinkled here or there, it’s constant and continuous. Where have you been pretending that something isn’t impacting you, but truthfully it’s killing you; maybe physically or mentally?

I’m not special, I’m a woman with fears and dreams who had to dig deep and find courage several times in life. I’m sure I have several more transformations to go too. But what I found on the other side of the courage, with tears and hurt and heartache, was like “wow, life can be this good?”


& in conclusion, no matter where you’re at today, take time to acknowledge where you’re at and the fact you’re here. Reading this. Putting in the work, learning what you can do to become a better version of you and listening to what others do to live an optimal life. Just like me, just like humanity– we’re a work in progress, but you’re on an incredibly high road by seeking out self-transformation skills. For that my friends, you deserve a lot of kudos.