Social Media Can Filter Only A Small Part of Motherhood

compassion, courage, depression, empathetic, gratitude, happiness, inspiration, life changing, lifestyle, love yourself, mental health, mental health awareness, Motivation, parenting, personal development, personal growth, relationships, role models, self belief, self care, self-growth, story, strength, transformation, wellness

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Only on social media can I create the illusion that these precious boys are such well-behaved Angels 100% of the time. These pictures capture the beauty of childhood.  The truth is that only filters or the right angle of a picture will cover up my messy sheet on the bed, the pile of laundry in the corner and some dishes in the sink or hide the fact I just dealt with an hour long meltdown with my 6-year-old right before we snapped this shot

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The truth is that motherhood is friggin hard; It’s not always smiling and snuggles & in those hard moments, I felt alone for a long time. I compared myself to everyone, especially the “InstaMoms” that capture only the glitz and glamour of motherhood. I wanted to be the “old me” who felt good about herself. But then I realized I LOVED who I was evolving into through motherhood

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If your house doesn’t look like Pinterest, you’re still a good mom. And you are not failing because you didn’t get to make homemade lunches every day or because you didn’t send the kids to school in Cashmere sweaters. You are still a good mom. To our little ones, we’re the world; we are more than enough. And part of being a good mom is making sure you’re HAPPY because a happy mom makes a happy baby. 

 So as we honor the mothers in our lives this weekend, take a minute to realize what a badass mom YOU are.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s this belief that Mothers are the heart and soul in a family; If the heart isn’t taking care of herself than everything else will suffer.  So take the time to care for yourself. Take the idea of motherhood perfection and throw it out the window. Being in love with our children and feeling so grateful to be their parent can coexist with the reality that it’s also really, really hard. Allow yourself to be frustrated and “over the moon” in love with your child. Don’t shame yourself for having these feelings. It’s a reality. It’s a common theme that we all feel, but we don’t talk enough about. Take care of your mental health and don’t hold on to the guilt that comes naturally in the hard moments of parenting. In reality, we feel guilty because we love THAT much. Lean into that feeling. 

 

199e1fb32250bf0c455592a07c5feb15Different roads can lead to the same destination. We can parent 100 different ways & still raise happy, respectful, successful children. Don’t compare yourself to the InstaMoms. You keep rocking that messy hair bun, yoga pants and that heart of gold. You keep trying your best & keep doing what makes you happy so that you can keep shining and making this world a better place.

Wishing all of you wonderful and powerful women an (early) Happy Mothers Day!cropped-adamire2.jpg

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My recent Interviews featured on websites; From Trauma To Motherhood To Why I’m Blogging.

anxiety, bipolar, contribute, courage, depression, guest post, lets talk, life, lifestyle, mental health, new post, parenting, personal development, PTSD, self-growth, story, your story

I have been quite the procrastinator lately. I admit. But I wanted to pass along some of the sites I’ve been featured on recently along with a few guest posts/contributions I made to other blog sites. All three interviews/stories include information I don’t normally share on the blog so if you’re interested or have some free time, check out the links below and let me know what you think. The connection with other people is one of the best benefits of blogging and I can’t tell you how excited I am about the amount of genuinely great people I’ve met or organizations I affiliate with now. Many more to come… And don’t forget you can submit your story on this page today. Read more about that HERE.

⇒One particularly was with an organization that has given me so much information and resources when I was first diagnosed with Depression and Bipolar. It’s an absolutely life-saving resource and built from a fabulous group of people.  It has unlimited opportunities for you to learn, volunteer, contribute, advocate and much more.

quote-the-struggle-is-part-of-the-story.jpgThe name of the organization is the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. The link below will take you to a raw, real backstory of where I came from and how I’m dealing with Mental Illnesses today. I’d encourage you to take a look at the story if you can relate to Mental Illness, but more so I hope you browse the website and find it as helpful as I did.

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My story (Click the link below) 
DBSA- Meet Carrie



A fun interview I did was with a gal who I connected with via Twitter. She’s bringing awareness to working mothers. What better way to contribute to women supporting women. We can always use some of that, right? The interview is a quick read but was a great way for me to reflect on my parenting journey. Check out MiMi’s site too, she has tons of cool things to offer. The interview I completed with her is linked below. It’s my perspective and advice as a working mom. 

Click the link below:
Working Mom Series- Carrie Doran


⇒ This short, but sweet interview was with a new blogger who has a sincere passion for building a community. She looks for people to interview and she we had such a genuine connection. It’s a quick read on how I started blogging and some random other facts I probably don’t share on here too much. Check out her blog and read the guest post I contributed by clicking the link below:

Click the link below:
Power of the Mind– Feat. Carrie Doran everyone-has-a-story-everyone-has-gone-through-something-that-6118023.png

Thanks for reading along, I appreciate you! I’d love to hear your feedback or comments. Remember, your story can inspire others. You don’t have to suffer in silence. You have a community of people rooting for you!


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4 ways I prevent Emotional Overload as an Empath.

anxiety, empathetic, happiness, lifestyle, love yourself, mental health, parenting, personal development, self-growth

“You’re an empath”.

My aunt and I had the longest conversation about this word. She lives across the country and pronounces the word differently than I do here in Las Vegas. As we carried on our conversation, we kept stopping mid-sentence, as we pronounced “empath“, because we weren’t sure how it was actually pronounced. Now I pay closer attention when I hear people use that to describe either themselves or someone else. I wondered how this cool hipster term for “Empathy” was suddenly a word of it’s own and used with a separate definition?
It makes total sense though. Empath’s give their emotions to others. You can see another persons perspective, naturally. Empathy is so deeply rooted in who a person is. It has both positive and negative aspects to it. It’s a variety of characteristics that happen to make someone feel so deeply to another person that they can match their emotional state simply by that connection. It all sounds like feelings we should want to have, right? Well that’s what I thought.

Someone who has empathy understands it’s good sides, but they also are no stranger to it’s list of negative attributes too.

Once you know me, I hear I’m a deeply emotional person. Perhaps, like a lot of you! I know I am also very complicated, complex and unpredictable. I’ve been extremely sensitive since childhood. Large crowds, even places like Target or Costco on a hard day can be enough to shut me down emotionally. Especially if I’m not mindful about my emotions. It’s so easy to feel overloaded because emotional energy can only run around on ‘empty‘ for so long. Empathetic  individuals can struggle to find the balance, than absorb the impact of stressful emotions & trigger a plethora of bad habits, panic attacks or health issues. This pattern can be incredibly hard to identify and fix so the cycle repeats itself again and again.

a few tough mental breakdowns was enough for me to realize my bad habit of building up emotional needs that are way beyond my capacity. So I started reaching for resources to broaden and strengthen my balancing skills when it came to emotions.

Through practice, and patience, guidance and some bumps in the road; I have finally found some seriously helpful ways to keep me from tipping too far to one side. It’s a constant adventure where there is always a lot to be learned. As I keep experiencing life lessons and just the natural course of growing up; I remain open to the lessons I have yet to learn and so grateful for the ones I’ve already been using.

From experience, I learned that balancing your emotions is possible & such a better way to live. For me, I can handle being an Empath only by setting some boundaries, staying focused on things that motivate me, learning how to communicate & from tuning into when I can and should release emotions.

Motivation: Parenting is one way I keep myself accountable for trying my hardest to become a woman with healthy emotions. A child needs that stable and healthy adult figure to model and teach them the ways of life. Every moment around my little child I know I’m being watched as if I’m under a microscope. So because I need the energy to do what I have to do, I stay motivated to be emotionally healthy. Though I’ve wrestled with feeling the shame from not doing enough by the time I get home. I try to do whatever I got to do to keep that little bit of fire going all the way until I’ve gave it to him, and my husband and still have some for myself. It’s possible. It’s hard, but it’s possible to stay incredibly focused on the motivation that will get you across the finish line, mentally.

Boundaries: For me, Grandma taught me what it even means to have boundaries; and she helped me see how they actually play a much bigger role in life than I think most realize. But that’s a whole new topic for another day. Lesson learned: I need to have boundaries that help me stay fulfilled emotionally, and I don’t feel selfish about it either. One of my favorite ladies ever once told it to me this way; “If you were on a plane, they’d tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first & that way you can help others. In life, it should be the same.”

It’s brilliant. It’s the easiest way to visualize that your own emotional needs are important and need to be considered.

Talking, Talking and Talking. I’ve realized that men actually aren’t mind readers. People don’t really know what you’re thinking. I have to know when to communicate and how to communicate so that I can prevent a build-up or break down. Communication is part of a prevention plan and can protect you from feeling anxiety, unwanted, used and all the other negative self talk that comes naturally when we’re sad or mad. Even if I sound crazy, I’ll meditate with myself in order to be mindful of how my own self dialogue is. I hold a true value that honest and open communication is a must-have in relationships with friends, family, co-workers and yourself.

Release and Resilience. I need to keep practicing this, but from dozens of podcasts, websites and from my own personal experience; Releasing negative energy that I’ve absorbed is possible and easy to do. I just have a hard time discovering when too much becomes too much. But because of my own habit of absorbing too much, I’ve built a resilience against so many things that could’ve troubled me, but I let it fall behind. I reflect often how many times I haven’t felt resilient, but than I can just as easily reflect on the insane adventures through trials and troubles that left me with this resilient willpower to always find a way.

I’m fascinated by humans and all their quirky, unique differences. I could people watch all day because of this, but ask me to interact with them all day and I’ll have to mentally prepare myself. Empathy is one of those topics I could talk with you about all day, but I’ll remember forever the times I’ve pushed it too far before and felt the heavy consequences.

So cheers to the Empaths out there! Cheers for another beautiful day. Surprisingly, after a rough week, little things like this thunderstorm in Vegas right now make me feel great!

Wishing you the best.