Social Media Can Filter Only A Small Part of Motherhood

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Only on social media can I create the illusion that these precious boys are such well-behaved Angels 100% of the time. These pictures capture the beauty of childhood.  The truth is that only filters or the right angle of a picture will cover up my messy sheet on the bed, the pile of laundry in the corner and some dishes in the sink or hide the fact I just dealt with an hour long meltdown with my 6-year-old right before we snapped this shot

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The truth is that motherhood is friggin hard; It’s not always smiling and snuggles & in those hard moments, I felt alone for a long time. I compared myself to everyone, especially the “InstaMoms” that capture only the glitz and glamour of motherhood. I wanted to be the “old me” who felt good about herself. But then I realized I LOVED who I was evolving into through motherhood

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If your house doesn’t look like Pinterest, you’re still a good mom. And you are not failing because you didn’t get to make homemade lunches every day or because you didn’t send the kids to school in Cashmere sweaters. You are still a good mom. To our little ones, we’re the world; we are more than enough. And part of being a good mom is making sure you’re HAPPY because a happy mom makes a happy baby. 

 So as we honor the mothers in our lives this weekend, take a minute to realize what a badass mom YOU are.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s this belief that Mothers are the heart and soul in a family; If the heart isn’t taking care of herself than everything else will suffer.  So take the time to care for yourself. Take the idea of motherhood perfection and throw it out the window. Being in love with our children and feeling so grateful to be their parent can coexist with the reality that it’s also really, really hard. Allow yourself to be frustrated and “over the moon” in love with your child. Don’t shame yourself for having these feelings. It’s a reality. It’s a common theme that we all feel, but we don’t talk enough about. Take care of your mental health and don’t hold on to the guilt that comes naturally in the hard moments of parenting. In reality, we feel guilty because we love THAT much. Lean into that feeling. 

 

199e1fb32250bf0c455592a07c5feb15Different roads can lead to the same destination. We can parent 100 different ways & still raise happy, respectful, successful children. Don’t compare yourself to the InstaMoms. You keep rocking that messy hair bun, yoga pants and that heart of gold. You keep trying your best & keep doing what makes you happy so that you can keep shining and making this world a better place.

Wishing all of you wonderful and powerful women an (early) Happy Mothers Day!cropped-adamire2.jpg

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This Is What Taught Me How and Why I Needed To Become The Leader Of My Own Life

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DSC_0008 (1)Last year around this time, I reflected hard on my year of decisions and memories in 2017 to create a promising vision for 2018 and even hosted a mini party with my sister to create this vision board. I saw that board every morning on the way out the front door. Sometimes it kept me in alignment with the best version of myself, it inspired me. Sometimes I’d blow it off or completely fly by it when we were running out the door.  Either way, it was the first time in a long time that I shifted my habits and did something outside my comfort zone, like holding myself accountable to take action. And to think that this tiny step in holding myself accountable in a fun, creative way (like making vision boards, crafting…)  was just practice for what 2018 had in store for me.

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I’ve had some major shifts in my life, I’m sure you’ve had years like this before too.  They kind of sting and at the same time, provide you with this confidence and deep inner strength that you didn’t know existed before, right? Well, that feeling is what I grew into (or should I say grew from) over the last 350+ days.  Nearly a full year and trip around the sun.
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From the feeling of losing my mind and being petrified that I’d never come back to reality to the epiphany of seeing the larger picture in life and ultimately understanding my mind more, understanding me better. From so many “this is a first” experiences like car crashes, new friends, home invasions, loss of friendships, pregnancy… to the new endeavors, vacations, and adventures that came like planned.   Life keeps shifting as soon as it was about to get comfortable and for the most part, I actually didn’t mind it.

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It was one of the hardest years, I can’t even try to deny that. But it was also so rewarding all at once. It was constant noise, movement, and change and yet I still feel so content, calm and empowered by the end of each hardship or adventure. In summary, 2018 has led me to live my life incorporating one of the many new lessons that I learned. One important one, which is this simple truth:

Life will not always go as planned, fact number one.
Life will not always go your way, fact number two. 
The way you deal with life’s uncertainty is your choice, fact number three.

You will realize when you become the leader of your life that:

1) you’re going to be okay, one way or another during life’s uncertainty

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2) life is going to go even better than planned; either by chance or because you have an opportunity to make it better.

I share this because it’s taught me how to battle through the deepest depths of my mental illnesses. It’s helped me step outside my comfort zone and experience growth in such big ways. It’s helped me find like-minded people that help me grow, pushing me to become better. It’s helped me finally take action towards making some of my goals come to life and ultimately, it taught me to be the leader I needed to be in my own life. None of this would’ve been possible without realizing the power of being optimistic, empathetic and positive.  Being positive is much more than presenting a happy face to the world: you need to develop a strong sense of balance and recognize that setbacks and problems happen – it’s how you deal with those problems that make the difference.

eb1cb2a2f74b68c91811ca20c7962b29I hope this year has been easier for you in the sense of hardships or setbacks, but I also hope you had the chance to live the life you envision living and stepping into the blueprint you have for yourself, which requires uncomfortable moments and vulnerability. I believe everyone is capable of extraordinary things and each of us has unique skill sets that set us apart from each other. I hope that in some way, shape or form: you realized that you play a significant part in your life story. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond. It might not always feel like that, but when we become the leaders of our life instead of letting life lead us wherever it wants; we will learn to grow through the pain, not just go through it. On the other side, you’ll see a remarkable, courageous, strong and significant person standing in the mirror that realizes you are capable of anything you put your mind too. 

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We Have So Much To Learn When We Become Comfortable in the Uncomfortable Times

courage, inspiration, lifestyle, Motivation, personal development, personal growth, self belief, transformation

Untitled design (6)How do you feel about being uncomfortable, about being outside your comfort zone? Because I hated that uncertainty, I use to run from it. I found the unknown is never comfortable, right? It’s not a promise that life is about to get better… or at least that’s what I thought, for years.

Being uncomfortable is something that most of us have to learn how to do. Most of us can’t even tolerate being uncomfortable for short amounts of time. We distract ourselves from our discomfort by using emotional high drama, eating, drinking, drugs and all kinds of addictions, or abusive behavior. 

016da83da8de43030b16a324a513132cDuring my lowest moments, I’ve lost myself only to find myself again. Time and Time again. I get stuck in the rapid cycle of thoughts that welcome themselves back because I’ve forgotten to take a break, I was uncomfortable and as life catches up to me all at once, the pessimism creeps in slowly and I begin to tell myself that:

“The demons from my past follow me around, reminding me of the hardships that I’ve just barely made it out of” 

“The thoughts in my head race all day. No breaks, No intermission. Just the heavy pressure of 100 miles per hour thoughts from morning until night”.

“I’m lost in the fact that we work for money and live for material things. Like the good things in life aren’t free?”

“I hear that “they get me”, but why doesn’t it feel that way?”

24/7 I’m wondering if I’m doing enough. 

“It feels like everyone knows what I’m supposed to be doing and who I’m supposed to become. But the real me isn’t defined by the size of my office or the money in my wallet”.


Those are the common thoughts I can get in a bad habit of letting play over and over when I’m going through a hard time. This pattern of thoughts that become so negative, drowning and have steered me off the path more than once. Although it can happen in a depressive episode, it also happens when the universe decides its time for life to change.

quotes-8-2Eventually, I had to say, “I’m not going to run this time from what I bury deep inside. It’s time to leave it all behind”. And I stayed in the misery. I stayed in the uncomfortable until it became… comfortable.

These uncomfortable moments brought the pain. Pain that stemmed internally and expands outward, making me physically distraught. But, from that pain, I also started to feel a sense of peace. Pain and peace, at once? I wasn’t sure how I felt about those feelings mixed together, either.  That is until Now. 

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I realized the pain comes from the uncertainty of never walking that path before, not knowing the new version of you, not knowing what this new life that being uncomfortable is bringing you too or what it has to offer. But the peace stems from the bravery that it takes to sit in uncomfortable times. Bravery is having the audacity to be unhindered by the failures and to walk with hope, strength, and freedom into the face of uncertainty. How many times have we been brave and we never stopped to give ourselves the credit it took to weather that storm? Probably more times than we can count. 

 

I learned the best things come just one step outside of your comfort zone. You can wake up one day and feel a sense of pride for the life you chose, the life you made the most out of– and not the life you settled for.

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The pain always come to the surface, we all make mistakes; that’s alright. That’s life. But it’s about what we build on, not what we got right now that’s going to get us to that next level.

 

 

Reach out and Grab That Glass, Fill it Full For You, Don’t let fear destroy it for you.

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Remember, you are brave. And the best things wait for us just one step outside our comfort zone.

 

 

 

 

 

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