Social Media Can Filter Only A Small Part of Motherhood

compassion, courage, depression, empathetic, gratitude, happiness, inspiration, life changing, lifestyle, love yourself, mental health, mental health awareness, Motivation, parenting, personal development, personal growth, relationships, role models, self belief, self care, self-growth, story, strength, transformation, wellness

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Only on social media can I create the illusion that these precious boys are such well-behaved Angels 100% of the time. These pictures capture the beauty of childhood.  The truth is that only filters or the right angle of a picture will cover up my messy sheet on the bed, the pile of laundry in the corner and some dishes in the sink or hide the fact I just dealt with an hour long meltdown with my 6-year-old right before we snapped this shot

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The truth is that motherhood is friggin hard; It’s not always smiling and snuggles & in those hard moments, I felt alone for a long time. I compared myself to everyone, especially the “InstaMoms” that capture only the glitz and glamour of motherhood. I wanted to be the “old me” who felt good about herself. But then I realized I LOVED who I was evolving into through motherhood

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If your house doesn’t look like Pinterest, you’re still a good mom. And you are not failing because you didn’t get to make homemade lunches every day or because you didn’t send the kids to school in Cashmere sweaters. You are still a good mom. To our little ones, we’re the world; we are more than enough. And part of being a good mom is making sure you’re HAPPY because a happy mom makes a happy baby. 

 So as we honor the mothers in our lives this weekend, take a minute to realize what a badass mom YOU are.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s this belief that Mothers are the heart and soul in a family; If the heart isn’t taking care of herself than everything else will suffer.  So take the time to care for yourself. Take the idea of motherhood perfection and throw it out the window. Being in love with our children and feeling so grateful to be their parent can coexist with the reality that it’s also really, really hard. Allow yourself to be frustrated and “over the moon” in love with your child. Don’t shame yourself for having these feelings. It’s a reality. It’s a common theme that we all feel, but we don’t talk enough about. Take care of your mental health and don’t hold on to the guilt that comes naturally in the hard moments of parenting. In reality, we feel guilty because we love THAT much. Lean into that feeling. 

 

199e1fb32250bf0c455592a07c5feb15Different roads can lead to the same destination. We can parent 100 different ways & still raise happy, respectful, successful children. Don’t compare yourself to the InstaMoms. You keep rocking that messy hair bun, yoga pants and that heart of gold. You keep trying your best & keep doing what makes you happy so that you can keep shining and making this world a better place.

Wishing all of you wonderful and powerful women an (early) Happy Mothers Day!cropped-adamire2.jpg

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How To Keep Believing That You Can Accomplish Your Dreams

courage, happiness, inspiration, lifestyle, Motivation, strength, transformation

Do you believe you can accomplish your dreams?
I know, that sounds so cliche. But, do you?
Because if we don’t believe in ourselves, nobody will believe in us.
& I remember when the present moment seemed so busy, so tiring, so painful; that my dreams took a back seat and the life I was living without dreams began to feel so meaningless. I had forgotten how to believe in myself and let my state of mind take me to a place I didn’t belong.

73e09e95c6841b0a77855e9e0006fa8eWe all have things we believe in, problems we hope will turn around and dreams we want to accomplish. Maybe it’s to lose some weight, break an addiction, start our own business or start a family. And right when we are set on fire to go after those dreams… life carries on, time continues to pass and we don’t see anything changing in our life. So we can get discouraged, we learn to live with it, we learn to settle. Right?

& especially throughout adversity, I’d get discouraged and I’d get bitter. My pain had helped me lose my sense of direction. Because pain and heartache and loss change us. They’ll never leave us the same person.

But, that’s not always a bad thing, is it?

Because it’s true that something unique and powerful can only be developed inside us during these tough times. In those times we lost our sense of direction, we let our dreams pass, we thought our life would be going one way and we’re stuck on the opposite side; It’s these times that can make us or break us. We can get bitter or get better. We can become defeated or make that pain set us on fire about new opportunities.

Hard times change us, but we can handle them. We will get through it. & best of all, how about we don’t go just go through it, but we grow through it. We make sure our pain won’t go to waste.

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Life has a way of burying our dreams by the pain, the hurt, what didn’t work out, the divorce, the decisions you made and then those dreams become  “ONE TIME… I believed I could be my own boss”. “One Time, I believed I would be married forever. One time, I had a dream I’d have a family”. That inner dialogue we’re telling ourself and this temporarily weakened state of mind is a lie. Those statements are lies that we begin to tell ourselves when we’ve lost our strong state of mind. It’s never too late to become all you are designed, destined and made to be.

Maybe it doesn’t happen the first time.
Shake it off, it’s still in you. Just stay in the right state of mind.
So my challenge to you is to join me and learn to shake off all the crap that life throws at us. Let’s remember to try again and again.

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This is your year to accomplish dreams.

Remember to believe in yourself.

Remember to talk to yourself with kindness and compassion.

Remember to keep your state of mind in the right direction, even when it’s a struggle.

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The #1 Game Changing Skill You Will Need To Make Radical Transformation In Your Life!

courage, happiness, inspiration, life changing, lifestyle, Motivation, new post, personal development, personal growth, self-reflection, transformation

Remember in second grade, we got to watch and learn about the radical transformation that happens when a caterpillar transforms, with time, into a beautiful, new butterfly. (okay, Maybe you didn’t learn that in 2nd grade but you know what I mean). Remember how it took several stages that have to occur before that butterfly can unfold its wings, shed its old cocoon and set out into the world with a new set of characteristics, habits, and traits. It’s a beautiful process and speaking metaphorically, that’s the same process we, as humans, experience as we begin to radically transform ourselves into the same person, but with new habits, thinking patterns, and traits.

c58d2f68177a6ffda96173749d79d427.jpgThe truth is that everyone wants to be getting the most out of life, right? More joy, more laughter, more love peace, friends, more exploring and expanding and more money. We desire these things, naturally. But when it comes time to do the work, we tend to stay in patterns. We, as in humanity, as in me included.  Things get in our way of experiencing radical transformation. For example, our urges to please others, our need to feel a sense of belonging, and the fact we like to stay comfortable… even when that comfort is truly uncomfortable.

The only way I ever saw my own successful examples of radical transformation, like when I was working on getting control of my Depression or recently when I was working on letting go of what people thought– happen once I learned that we are always just a few decisions away from a powerfully different life experience: That’s the power we hold. Real talk on radical transformation requires one key component, one ingredient that can’t be left out. In fact, it will not occur unless you’re willing to say yes to honesty.

5fb4e068e5222c4ad93defe09f0adf2e.jpgHow easy is to be honest? “I’ll be honest about this and that, but not to this person or about that subject.”  Why is it so difficult for us to be honest? And we can’t sugarcoat it–Honesty can hurt. The truth can sting sometimes (usually all the time in self-reflection if we’re being honest). Like the last time you had to take a deep breath and be real honest about something, it was really uncomfortable, right? But it takes courage to be honest. “I am the reason this is my reality”. Once you see the truth and get clear on what’s really going on and how things are really impacting your life and how close you are to transformation; things don’t become easier, but you just broke into the most important part of beginning a radical transformation. My favorite quote from a podcast I listen to said, “You asked for transformation, but are you willing to weather the winds of change?” and oh how true that can be for me at times. 

390c703d7d7eec1a7611e417b8cf57bbHow can I have boundaries with my relationship, how can I gain control of my finances, how can I become better at controlling my depression or letting go of what people think? Whatever it is that you are wanting to transform; Well, It starts by being honest about why we want those things transformed. What isn’t working in those areas? Why do they need to be transformed? How’d you get there in the first place?

Honesty will be your anchor, allow it to guide you. Be Honest about the way you feel, the way you have felt, why you want to have a different experience.

I remember when I wanted to have a radical shift in the way I was thinking, the way my depression had control over me. Unconcionciously, I told myself it was normal though, it was okay and not my fault I felt this way, it was a part of life to live depressed and to wear a mask around those that didn’t know me. After all, they didn’t know what I’d been through or what I struggle with daily. Subconsciously, I held onto that identity because it was all I knew. It wasn’t until I was no longer willing to be that version of Carrie that I had a radical transformation.  


thecarpediemlife.comHow did I do that? I got honest. It didn’t take the sting away. It just eventually became a relief. Owning that it was my decision, my thoughts, my beliefs–that led me to let depression grip me like it was is where I had to get honest. So when I decided that I no longer wanted this identity for myself– I sat down time and time again to learn and read and enroll in therapy so I can begin to transform. I was avoiding what hurts because I thought it’d take me down, but what I learned is that when you are honest; you’re forced to be responsible.

If you’re really honest, no matter what someone has done to you or even circumstances outside your control– it’s always our choice and responsibility to continue to choose to live like this or that, be there or to leave. 

Being honest isn’t sprinkled here or there, it’s constant and continuous. Where have you been pretending that something isn’t impacting you, but truthfully it’s killing you; maybe physically or mentally?

I’m not special, I’m a woman with fears and dreams who had to dig deep and find courage several times in life. I’m sure I have several more transformations to go too. But what I found on the other side of the courage, with tears and hurt and heartache, was like “wow, life can be this good?”

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& in conclusion, no matter where you’re at today, take time to acknowledge where you’re at and the fact you’re here. Reading this. Putting in the work, learning what you can do to become a better version of you and listening to what others do to live an optimal life. Just like me, just like humanity– we’re a work in progress, but you’re on an incredibly high road by seeking out self-transformation skills. For that my friends, you deserve a lot of kudos.


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