VLOG: Why It’s Important & 4 Ways To Show Compassion & Empathy Towards Others.

Hello and Happy Monday to  my friends,

Today I wanted to share my thoughts on why I find it so important that we reflect often on how we are showing Compassion and Empathy towards others. Especially because as a Mental Health Community, we fight for others to show understanding and compassion towards us because of our Mental Illness. I think it’ll help each of us grow better and stronger if we can learn that despite the stigma and the lack of empathy from the society we often get– compassion is what binds us together as human beings. Living in a world of violence, hatred, and negativity on a daily basis already makes life tough. Let’s be a beacon of hope. Let’s show others compassion and empathy as often as we can.

In this video below, I share the 4 ways I’ve been implementing showing others empathy and compassion in my life. Truth be told, they have slowly not only helped me show compassion and empathy towards others but these simple acts helped me grow as a person. At the end of the day, there are ways we can make this world a better place and this is a tremendously positive way to contribute your part.

cropped-adamire2.jpgI want to hear your thoughts! What ways do you show compassion or empathy to others?

Till next time, Take care, have a great week, stay positive and have some fun too!

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Inside the Bipolar 2 Mind

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 in the early spring of this year. Although I had heard of Bipolar, I had no idea the symptoms, the details and struggles that go into this particular Mental Illness for those that had been battling it every day.

It wasn’t for a few months that I even wrapped my head around this new concept and accepted I had been diagnosed with Bipolar. I took the medications like prescribed (of course, complaining about them the entire time), but most of the time I isolated myself so I could research, and research (and research) all the articles, data, and stories that I could find online to help me prove that this diagnosis was wrong…. but to no avail. As I read story after story and dived deep into understanding the explanation of this illness on Mental Health and Medical sites, I could easily say “me too!” to all the struggles and symptoms that consistently described how I was feeling, but I couldn’t articulate into words myself.

img_5356-e1541600399972.jpgSee, often people with Bipolar or any mood altering illness won’t explain to you the symptoms they experience in detail; partly because they don’t want to scare you and partly because they don’t fully understand them all themselves. It’s hard to understand a diagnosis so complex and then be able to articulate that into words. It’s hard for many reasons, but one being because some people don’t believe Mental Illness is real. It’s easy if you break your foot, go to the doctor, followed by an x-ray and then you get your diagnosis. When you are mentally ill, your ability to articulate how you are feeling, usually to a complete stranger,  is how we’re diagnosed which is why so many people are unproperly diagnosed for years before Bipolar and other Mental Health Disorders reveal their true characteristics which will finally lead to proper treatment. Treatment helps, I’m grateful for it because it makes it more manageable, but treatment doesn’t cure Mental Illness.

img_5355-1.jpgI still have to put in work every day to make the most out of the rapid cycling mood changes that drastically change as quick and easy as walking into a dark room and simply turning on the light switch to see; that darkness becomes light and vice-versa in less than seconds. Living with Bipolar, as simply put as I can explain it, is similar to that. Your mood will change in a matter of seconds for no reason at all and usually, it’s out of your control.

img_5357-2.jpgThe illness has a variety of symptoms which makes it even more difficult for people to get properly diagnosed. For example, I consider myself a very grounded person. I know who I am, my values and core beliefs. I know my boundaries and likes and dislikes. But, I don’t feel like I live in a ‘middle ground‘ mentally. I am either living in a state of mind called “Hypomania” or “Bipolar Depression”. Hypomania is constantly high-paced behavior and energy, accompanied by impulsive thinking where your ideas and thoughts race 100mph, you’re judgment becomes clouded and you can’t concentrate on the task at hand to save your life. It’s also coupled with heightened anxiety and can’t forget about that good old friend, insomnia, which regardless of how much sleep you get, your energy level will stay up and so these symptoms linger for 24 hours a day, weeks at a time. Doesn’t sound that bad, right? Actually, it’s exhausting. Exhausting both mentally and physically.

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The other half of a Bipolar mindset is dark and isolating. During a depressive episode, it begins to feel normal to fantasize about suicide which is why people with Bipolar are 3x more likely to commit suicide. These thoughts that become horrifyingly casual are called “suicidal ideation”.  It’s common that people with Bipolar are unable to explain the symptoms of these episodes. Personally, I don’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone, do anything, go anywhere, try anything, eat anything; I’m simply, extremely unmotivated. I’m sad for no reason and struggling to fight the dark thoughts that present themselves consistently, although they’re 100% uninvited. I’m irritable, anxious, fatigued and feel completely empty. If I could draw or illustrate a visual picture for you during one of these episodes to capture how it feels, it’d simply be the darkest rain cloud I’ve ever seen suddenly blocking out any and all sunlight from every area of your life. That raincloud can’t be moved, it will simply stay for as long as it intends too and in reference to Bipolar, this is the battle that most would say is the hardest about Bipolar 2.

Understanding Mental Health is important because it’ll help you understand people more. Perhaps you’ll feel more compassion next time your friend bails last minute because they’re suddenly depressed or maybe you’ll reach out more to be that friend who can pull someone out of that isolation when they desperately need someone.

Bipolar is hard, but it’s manageable. It’s a part of me, but not my entire story. Yes, I still have to find a balance in life with this new diagnosis, I don’t know all my triggers yet and I only have a handful of tools that I have developed to make it through these depressive episodes. But, in time I know that I will become better and stronger at caring and battling for my Bipolar 2 Diagnosis. I only know that because of the incredible people who boldly shared their raw stories with Mental Illness and shed light into a time in my life when I was feeling incredibly alone.

img_5359My PSA for you is after knowing that 1 in 5 people suffer from a Mental Illness, chances are you know a lot more people who struggle with similar feelings to what I’ve described. I hope you know that you can be their beacon of hope and bring light even in the darkest of times by simply listening and reminding them they are not alone. For those of you that can relate to this illness, remember that an illness like this doesn’t make you broken. It makes you strong and brave for battling your own mind every day. You have one little sparkle of madness, you must never lose it!

Wishing you all the best,
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VLOG: Finding The Magic In Mental Illness

Happy Monday and Hello Friends!

I was asked to do a Mental Health video for a YouTube page and thought I’d share the content on here in hopes it brings comfort that you’re not alone in struggling with Mental Illness. These are just some of the tips I’ve learned along the way on my own Mental Health journey and I hope they can bring light into your journey.

Youtube: Finding The Magic In Mental Illness

If you have tips of your own, please share! I’m always looking to learn more.

 

Until next time,
Namaste
Adamire

We Have So Much To Learn When We Become Comfortable in the Uncomfortable Times

Untitled design (6)How do you feel about being uncomfortable, about being outside your comfort zone? Because I hated that uncertainty, I use to run from it. I found the unknown is never comfortable, right? It’s not a promise that life is about to get better… or at least that’s what I thought, for years.

Being uncomfortable is something that most of us have to learn how to do. Most of us can’t even tolerate being uncomfortable for short amounts of time. We distract ourselves from our discomfort by using emotional high drama, eating, drinking, drugs and all kinds of addictions, or abusive behavior. 

016da83da8de43030b16a324a513132cDuring my lowest moments, I’ve lost myself only to find myself again. Time and Time again. I get stuck in the rapid cycle of thoughts that welcome themselves back because I’ve forgotten to take a break, I was uncomfortable and as life catches up to me all at once, the pessimism creeps in slowly and I begin to tell myself that:

“The demons from my past follow me around, reminding me of the hardships that I’ve just barely made it out of” 

“The thoughts in my head race all day. No breaks, No intermission. Just the heavy pressure of 100 miles per hour thoughts from morning until night”.

“I’m lost in the fact that we work for money and live for material things. Like the good things in life aren’t free?”

“I hear that “they get me”, but why doesn’t it feel that way?”

24/7 I’m wondering if I’m doing enough. 

“It feels like everyone knows what I’m supposed to be doing and who I’m supposed to become. But the real me isn’t defined by the size of my office or the money in my wallet”.


Those are the common thoughts I can get in a bad habit of letting play over and over when I’m going through a hard time. This pattern of thoughts that become so negative, drowning and have steered me off the path more than once. Although it can happen in a depressive episode, it also happens when the universe decides its time for life to change.

quotes-8-2Eventually, I had to say, “I’m not going to run this time from what I bury deep inside. It’s time to leave it all behind”. And I stayed in the misery. I stayed in the uncomfortable until it became… comfortable.

These uncomfortable moments brought the pain. Pain that stemmed internally and expands outward, making me physically distraught. But, from that pain, I also started to feel a sense of peace. Pain and peace, at once? I wasn’t sure how I felt about those feelings mixed together, either.  That is until Now. 

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I realized the pain comes from the uncertainty of never walking that path before, not knowing the new version of you, not knowing what this new life that being uncomfortable is bringing you too or what it has to offer. But the peace stems from the bravery that it takes to sit in uncomfortable times. Bravery is having the audacity to be unhindered by the failures and to walk with hope, strength, and freedom into the face of uncertainty. How many times have we been brave and we never stopped to give ourselves the credit it took to weather that storm? Probably more times than we can count. 

 

I learned the best things come just one step outside of your comfort zone. You can wake up one day and feel a sense of pride for the life you chose, the life you made the most out of– and not the life you settled for.

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The pain always come to the surface, we all make mistakes; that’s alright. That’s life. But it’s about what we build on, not what we got right now that’s going to get us to that next level.

 

 

Reach out and Grab That Glass, Fill it Full For You, Don’t let fear destroy it for you.

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Remember, you are brave. And the best things wait for us just one step outside our comfort zone.

 

 

 

 

 

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How Becoming Pregnant was what I Needed to Reflect, Change & Commit To New Goals

Pregnancy. What a game changer?

1f807039599d7cab6452a5721840dd62Life grows and changes, literally in every way, overnight.
That’s how I felt when I was first finding out and adjusting the first few weeks of:
BEING PREGNANT! 

Personal Development always seems to be a natural priority for me, but once I go through the beginning stages of Pregnancy. I feel like it accelerates to be my only priority in the beginning. Forget manicures, self-love routines, date nights; I reflect and mentally prepare for whatever I need to do to ensure I’m being my best self, a truly healthy and happy person.  Maybe I’m just the overthinker that runs into this problem, but I feel like more of us are similar than we are different so perhaps this is normal for others, too?

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The questions I ask myself to begin with “Am I being healthy enough? Do I have enough patience? Where can I keep getting better?” and it’s easier for me to make a goal and commit to it when I am pregnant. I’m not sure why, but I think maybe that’s because I’m held accountable for creating a human life which is beautiful, but a large responsibility. Maybe it’s because life slows down and I take the extra time to revisit life with a new perspective– I’m not exactly sure what the inspiration is, but even though I commit to change easier, it doesn’t make change any easier. It’s still hard, difficult and physically exhausting sometimes.

After a miscarriage last year, I think it affected why it felt like nearly 9 weeks for me to truly feel pregnant and maternal. It sounds selfish, but it’s the truth.  I was afraid I’d lose the baby and have to relive the experience that comes when you miscarry. But, this little sidekick has been kicking my butt since day one. He or She decided they were here for good, and I’ve been beyond grateful for the opportunity. A beautiful blessing that was unexpected, but incredibly exciting.

My hope for you is that we realize we’re strong enough to commit to a change, we just need that motivation. Then we can fly wherever we want to go, do whatever it is we truly want to do. For me, it takes large, life-changing events for me to reflect and find that motivation. But, as I grow up and learn; life is about the small choices we make every day. They take us to our biggest adventures.  & for those of you who had gone through miscarries before, I’m sorry. I know the topic is taboo making it harder to express the pain and misery.  But there WILL be light in your life soon, never lose the hope and faith.

A little about this pregnancy: 

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Cravings: ice cream, yogurt, juice, water, water. water. Strawberry Yogurt. Chocolate.

Symptoms: The worst is all day sickness; more like nausea that doesn’t go away. Fatigue. Acne. Tiredness. An overwhelming hot feeling, especially in my feet.

13 weeks pregnant, today!

Biggest changes: Seem to be a rapidly growing bump, despite nausea 24/7 that makes it difficult to feel hungry. The even more consistent mood swings (poor husband), the love for oranges and Lemonade that ends up being what I consume most of. The cuteness of Conner’s excitement and sweet gestures. “How much longer till the baby is here? When can I see it start dancing?”

Mood: Mood. Swings. Sums it up nicely haha.

How did you react when you were first adjusting to pregnancy?
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Ready for a FREEBIE? Help decide which one to release first? (Vote Here Please!)

For completely free, I’m dedicated to releasing a freebie, while working on other products, to keep helping us in our Mental Health and Personal Development. If you are interested in a freebie than please cast your vote below! It’ll take about 2 seconds or less.

♥Thank you, as always. Especially for using your time and opinion; they matter most to me!

Here is the Poll: 

How To Keep Believing That You Can Accomplish Your Dreams

Do you believe you can accomplish your dreams?
I know, that sounds so cliche. But, do you?
Because if we don’t believe in ourselves, nobody will believe in us.
& I remember when the present moment seemed so busy, so tiring, so painful; that my dreams took a back seat and the life I was living without dreams began to feel so meaningless. I had forgotten how to believe in myself and let my state of mind take me to a place I didn’t belong.

73e09e95c6841b0a77855e9e0006fa8eWe all have things we believe in, problems we hope will turn around and dreams we want to accomplish. Maybe it’s to lose some weight, break an addiction, start our own business or start a family. And right when we are set on fire to go after those dreams… life carries on, time continues to pass and we don’t see anything changing in our life. So we can get discouraged, we learn to live with it, we learn to settle. Right?

& especially throughout adversity, I’d get discouraged and I’d get bitter. My pain had helped me lose my sense of direction. Because pain and heartache and loss change us. They’ll never leave us the same person.

But, that’s not always a bad thing, is it?

Because it’s true that something unique and powerful can only be developed inside us during these tough times. In those times we lost our sense of direction, we let our dreams pass, we thought our life would be going one way and we’re stuck on the opposite side; It’s these times that can make us or break us. We can get bitter or get better. We can become defeated or make that pain set us on fire about new opportunities.

Hard times change us, but we can handle them. We will get through it. & best of all, how about we don’t go just go through it, but we grow through it. We make sure our pain won’t go to waste.

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Life has a way of burying our dreams by the pain, the hurt, what didn’t work out, the divorce, the decisions you made and then those dreams become  “ONE TIME… I believed I could be my own boss”. “One Time, I believed I would be married forever. One time, I had a dream I’d have a family”. That inner dialogue we’re telling ourself and this temporarily weakened state of mind is a lie. Those statements are lies that we begin to tell ourselves when we’ve lost our strong state of mind. It’s never too late to become all you are designed, destined and made to be.

Maybe it doesn’t happen the first time.
Shake it off, it’s still in you. Just stay in the right state of mind.
So my challenge to you is to join me and learn to shake off all the crap that life throws at us. Let’s remember to try again and again.

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This is your year to accomplish dreams.

Remember to believe in yourself.

Remember to talk to yourself with kindness and compassion.

Remember to keep your state of mind in the right direction, even when it’s a struggle.

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How To Find The Bright Side In A Dark Depression

 

 

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Depression.
Major Depression.
Bipolar Depression.

It isn’t just a little sadness that comes and goes. It’s more like a black hole that sucks out the life inside you. Your personality, your ambition, your mind-body, and soul feel entirely useless and defeated. It’s not easy to explain to others what’s going on when you don’t even understand all of it yourself, right?

If you suffer from abc7c7e05ef9b956053bc06682c99da7depression, I get you. I’ve been there, I am there. I know how alone you can feel at times. I know how hard it is to search for strength in the depths of your soul some days just to get to work, socialize and put on that fake smile you hate seeing yourself wear. I know what it’s like to look at people who are genuinely happy and envy that feeling because you want nothing more than to feel that happiness too.

We’re incredibly strong and resilient to battle such a strong illness, day in and day out. There are so many benefits to living with Depression. But we will hardly ever recognize these strengths of ours or the benefits we can gain during periods of depression. Instead, we feel a strong sense of hopelessness and loneliness and eventually, we get comfortable with self-sabotaging habits. Habits like isolating ourselves because we fear that nobody will understand. We stop doing things we love and pursuing our interests because we’ve lost our motivation.

901fae2bc25d565fb735fbfe2809bb99But through my own experience of walking in the valley of darkness for many years, eventually, I know that the feeling of Depression always lifts. It might not be overnight, or even for a few months. It will lift, though. And you know what makes Depression easier?

When we realize not to personally identify ourselves with Depression. Depression isn’t you. It’s normal, it’s an emotion and experience that you are going through, but it’s not what makes you unique. It’s not your personality nor the characteristics you carry. It’s an experience that will eventually expire and one that is essential in life.

Just like night time turns into day and just like winter turns into spring and then summer again; depression will lift. It’s temporary. We have to have faith that on the other side of that pain is something so very, very good.

6ad86d4d7b9ab63efc2769ee16ca0815.jpgDepression is essential because every time we have a bout with depression, we come out a different person. We have different ways of looking at things, we are doing different things. We become aware. We want to see the opportunities that identify with us instead of falling into a downward spiral and dealing with what’s happening to us.

Depression is a feeling we just want to escape when it’s present, it’s a hole we just want to step out of. But Depression, pain, fear, disillusion– they’re a part of life and a part of life that builds a stronger, better version of you!
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The thing that keeps us living is a sense of future and the next time Depression tries telling you the future isn’t there– Let’s show up, get up, gear up. Let’s confront and fight those feelings. Because it’s possible to put yourself together after you’ve been broken down, we do it with the courage inside of us every time we’re battling depressive episodes. It’s not easy, it’s going to be hard. It always is hard. But that’s what life is; hard.

And you know what? You’re strong. You have a purpose, this depression is a stop in your journey; remember that it’s not your final destination. Instead, it’s here to elevate you, to bring you adversities that will transform you and challenge you to believe in yourself more than you ever have before. Why? Because once you prioritize yourself, the rest will fall into place.

87a5b4ee58e676fa511406cfc9030709No, happiness doesn’t pay the bills. But happiness brings more energy and that energy can be used to change the world, to do great things you never would’ve done before if you hadn’t had experience that taught you the way. That’s the bright side of Depression. 

All those times I thought people were insensitive when they’d tell me to go for a walk, think more positive, “it’s all in your mind”— I’d want to roll my eyes and whisper to myself you don’t understand. But once I stripped away my ego and negative thoughts– I saw that they were just simply stating that they still believed in me.

People still believe in YOU. They need you. Remember, Life needs you. Depression can become your greatest teacher if you learn to look for the lessons it’s bringing.

Until next time,
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Why I am here & Do What I do (VLOG)

A warm welcome to all the new visitors! The other day it dawned on me that I haven’t really shared why I write, love to connect and why I’m passionate about the things I am.

So as insomnia sat around with me the other night, I decided that 1am was a great time to talk about my purpose and passion, plus a few side tangents, haha.

If you’re new here, share the same passion for Mental Health or just want to reach out and connect– below is a little about my story! Don’t forget I’m just a click away if you need anyone to talk too & I’m totally interested in hearing your story too so leave it below please!

PS. If the video loads slowly, you can always click on the link to youtube. Right here!

 

The #1 Game Changing Skill You Will Need To Make Radical Transformation In Your Life!

Remember in second grade, we got to watch and learn about the radical transformation that happens when a caterpillar transforms, with time, into a beautiful, new butterfly. (okay, Maybe you didn’t learn that in 2nd grade but you know what I mean). Remember how it took several stages that have to occur before that butterfly can unfold its wings, shed its old cocoon and set out into the world with a new set of characteristics, habits, and traits. It’s a beautiful process and speaking metaphorically, that’s the same process we, as humans, experience as we begin to radically transform ourselves into the same person, but with new habits, thinking patterns, and traits.

c58d2f68177a6ffda96173749d79d427.jpgThe truth is that everyone wants to be getting the most out of life, right? More joy, more laughter, more love peace, friends, more exploring and expanding and more money. We desire these things, naturally. But when it comes time to do the work, we tend to stay in patterns. We, as in humanity, as in me included.  Things get in our way of experiencing radical transformation. For example, our urges to please others, our need to feel a sense of belonging, and the fact we like to stay comfortable… even when that comfort is truly uncomfortable.

The only way I ever saw my own successful examples of radical transformation, like when I was working on getting control of my Depression or recently when I was working on letting go of what people thought– happen once I learned that we are always just a few decisions away from a powerfully different life experience: That’s the power we hold. Real talk on radical transformation requires one key component, one ingredient that can’t be left out. In fact, it will not occur unless you’re willing to say yes to honesty.

5fb4e068e5222c4ad93defe09f0adf2e.jpgHow easy is to be honest? “I’ll be honest about this and that, but not to this person or about that subject.”  Why is it so difficult for us to be honest? And we can’t sugarcoat it–Honesty can hurt. The truth can sting sometimes (usually all the time in self-reflection if we’re being honest). Like the last time you had to take a deep breath and be real honest about something, it was really uncomfortable, right? But it takes courage to be honest. “I am the reason this is my reality”. Once you see the truth and get clear on what’s really going on and how things are really impacting your life and how close you are to transformation; things don’t become easier, but you just broke into the most important part of beginning a radical transformation. My favorite quote from a podcast I listen to said, “You asked for transformation, but are you willing to weather the winds of change?” and oh how true that can be for me at times. 

390c703d7d7eec1a7611e417b8cf57bbHow can I have boundaries with my relationship, how can I gain control of my finances, how can I become better at controlling my depression or letting go of what people think? Whatever it is that you are wanting to transform; Well, It starts by being honest about why we want those things transformed. What isn’t working in those areas? Why do they need to be transformed? How’d you get there in the first place?

Honesty will be your anchor, allow it to guide you. Be Honest about the way you feel, the way you have felt, why you want to have a different experience.

I remember when I wanted to have a radical shift in the way I was thinking, the way my depression had control over me. Unconcionciously, I told myself it was normal though, it was okay and not my fault I felt this way, it was a part of life to live depressed and to wear a mask around those that didn’t know me. After all, they didn’t know what I’d been through or what I struggle with daily. Subconsciously, I held onto that identity because it was all I knew. It wasn’t until I was no longer willing to be that version of Carrie that I had a radical transformation.  


thecarpediemlife.comHow did I do that? I got honest. It didn’t take the sting away. It just eventually became a relief. Owning that it was my decision, my thoughts, my beliefs–that led me to let depression grip me like it was is where I had to get honest. So when I decided that I no longer wanted this identity for myself– I sat down time and time again to learn and read and enroll in therapy so I can begin to transform. I was avoiding what hurts because I thought it’d take me down, but what I learned is that when you are honest; you’re forced to be responsible.

If you’re really honest, no matter what someone has done to you or even circumstances outside your control– it’s always our choice and responsibility to continue to choose to live like this or that, be there or to leave. 

Being honest isn’t sprinkled here or there, it’s constant and continuous. Where have you been pretending that something isn’t impacting you, but truthfully it’s killing you; maybe physically or mentally?

I’m not special, I’m a woman with fears and dreams who had to dig deep and find courage several times in life. I’m sure I have several more transformations to go too. But what I found on the other side of the courage, with tears and hurt and heartache, was like “wow, life can be this good?”

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& in conclusion, no matter where you’re at today, take time to acknowledge where you’re at and the fact you’re here. Reading this. Putting in the work, learning what you can do to become a better version of you and listening to what others do to live an optimal life. Just like me, just like humanity– we’re a work in progress, but you’re on an incredibly high road by seeking out self-transformation skills. For that my friends, you deserve a lot of kudos.


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How YOU Can Save A Life— it’s easier than you think!

img_3689A day, a week plus one whole month dedicated to showing support for the millions that took their life to suicide. It’s the one month that brings awareness to the problem that 1 in 5 people deal with every day for the rest of their life; Mental Health and the fact it results so often in suicide.

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I’m grateful for this movement because doing something is better than nothing. But why don’t we raise awareness all year long? when did “serving & helping others” become a second/third/nineteenth priority to people. We declared a war on drugs and although there is debate whether that helped, it was a problem recognized on a national level; something everyone was involved in. That’s what we need with Mental Health and for suicide prevention.1925996346f46dfbd6186cc66aa35a41.jpg

When did “commit” suicide become a loosely used term? They didn’t commit suicide. The reality is someone took their life and suffered unimaginable pain in doing so.

It is no secret that Mental Health is my passion, but it’s also my biggest battle. Regardless, it’s in my bones & soul to feel compassion and deep empathy for the people who struggle with the will to live. I know I was given these struggles to contribute to the Mental HEALTH CRISIS that exists in America. Not enough psychiatrists, insurance doesn’t cover rehabilitation, psychiatric wards closing down in hospitals– the problem is growing, the solutions are decreasing and now it’s up to you, me, our society to raise awareness and do what we can to show we care; to make a change in someone’s life. If not in our time– let’s do it for our kids; the next generation!

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I had my own loved ones attempt suicide, a trauma I’ll never recover from. To imagine losing someone I loved was the greatest pain I’ve felt. To know I loved someone who was in that much pain that the world becomes so painful to live in & killing them self is the most realistic option at that point—- that feeling is something I can only imagine to be the equivalent of living in hell. A real life, living Hell. & yet every 16 minutes someone is in this living hell & attempts to take their life. What a sad reality we’re living in. But we can help! This month I’ll post a lot about Mental Health in an effort to bring awareness.

Today’s call to action:

If mental health wasn’t something you thought about– maybe because you never experienced it or didn’t know much about it– I challenge you to spend this month finding one way to contribute to this problem. Whether you learn, volunteer, or simply reach out and show someone you care; stop the stigma. Help be a big part of an important cause. You have the power to save a life with your words and actions; which are the superpowers we were given as humans.

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Let’s start by telling someone we care, today!

& Today, I’m bringing attention to the campaign I am super passionate about which is called imlistening.org 

They share the proof that Mental Health and Suicidal thoughts don’t discriminate. Anyone can fall into a Mental Health Illness or go through periods of suicidal thoughts. This organization interviews celebrities, athletes, singers & more who share their truth with the world and they allow you to share your story too. Check them out!

And below are resources from their site! Please repost them, share them, talk about them with people. Nobody needs to feel alone!


RESOURCES:

If you or anyone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or any other type of crisis, you are not alone.

If the situation is potentially life-threatening, get immediate emergency assistance by calling 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL)
Phone: 1-800-273-8255

The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This free and confidential service will provide crisis resources for you or your loved ones. Their website also offers a live chat for anyone in need.

Crisis Text Line (741-741)
TEXT: TALK to 741-741

The Crisis Text Line serves anyone, in any type of crisis, and it is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Their trained Crisis Counselors are available for coping with any painful emotion for which you need support.

Additional resources:

If you are seeking any form of assistance, the below list of resources can provide support or refer you to a local resource which can help.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
Phone: 1-888-333-2377

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention raises awareness, funds research, and provides support and resources to those affected by suicide.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)
Phone: 240-485-1001

For information on the symptoms, treatment, and prevention of anxiety and depression.

Concussion Legacy Foundation

Concussion and CTE Resources

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA)
Phone: 1-800-826-3632

For information and online or in-person support for those with bipolar disorder and depression.

Now Matters Now

Now Matters Now provides skills and support for coping with suicidal thoughts.

Psychology Today
Provides a national directory of therapists, psychiatrists, group therapy, and other options.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
Phone: 1-800-662-4357

Provides referrals to mental health care, substance abuse, and dual diagnosis treatment at a low cost/sliding scale.

Talkspace

Online, on-demand digital therapy.

The Trevor Project
1-866-488-7386

The Trevor Project provides confidential support for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people. Their phone hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Veteran’s Crisis Line
1-800-273-8255
TEXT: 838255

The Veterans Crisis Line is available for veterans in crisis and their families and friends who are in need of support. Their hotline, text message service, and online chat are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide confidential support to those facing a crisis.


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Skills That Help Make Sure Life Challenges Don’t Break You, But Instead, They MAKE YOU!

Hello and Happy Monday, IMG_3546

The early morning routine that comes way too fast after a weekend of fun. So I hope those cups of coffee are getting you through your day. I’m spending my day completing homework and housework as it’s one of my days off– but I thought Monday would be the perfect day to share some motivation I have been wanting to post for a few days… so if you have a minute, keep reading or simply click the video link at the bottom if you’re looking for a quick read without the backstory. Whatever works for you, friend!

This Vlog doesn’t mention that it was recorded after I reflected how life paralyzed me time and time again. Throughout too many times in childhood, as a young adult and each time an unexpected life challenge crashed into my world; shaking up everything I knew normal. Hasn’t that happen to you? It can be the worst thing imaginable while you’re living through it, right? At least that’s how I use to think. “Why’d this have to happen to me…” was my favorite mantra.

This year specifically, I was at my lowest point right after being diagnosed with Bipolar 2. It was unexpected, but provided closure to what I already knew— that something changed in my brain; the most powerful part of our body. — Bipolar was a scary diagnosis, the scariest one yet. I felt like I didn’t belong in my own body and I wanted to escape, constantly. But this challenge soon became to change powerful things in my life and for the better.img_3544.jpg

I’ve been a believer for some time that you can learn lessons through hardships, but I couldn’t have guessed my biggest challenge would lead to my greatest personal changes.  This was one of the first years that a life challenge didn’t break me first, but instead, it lit a fire inside. It started authentically making me, me. — making me stronger, more resilient, more courageous and more clear on what I want.

Just like you, I’m sure you have had these same moments where you didn’t know which direction to go next. OR my favorite part of life— when one bad thing followed by another continues to happen. What to do they say? “When it rains, it pours”. Yes, figured out how true that was really quick this year after the diagnosis, car accident, PTSD and therapy from the accident, terminal disease in loved ones, a totaled car and that’s just to scratch the surface. What fascinates me today is that I’m able to practice what I’ve learned to stand strong and firm, I believe in myself enough to get through things before they have to break me down to realize the lesson. Sometimes the direction your life is headed is so clear only after things get messy for a while.

My Vlog below explains more! Ultimately this made me IMG_3549realize that Mental Illness sucks, but it can be controlled and I can create how I want to deal with it. Life is hard, so so hard sometimes, but we can count on either learning something new we needed to learn or realizing it’s the best thing that could’ve to happen to get you where you want to be. 

Here is a Vlog I recorded during an insomnia episode this week which shares more insight to what I’m talking about and more importantly, how I hope you can turn your challenges into the best life changes you’ve had. You deserve it.

 

 

If you’re on a mobile device and this isn’t loading fast enough, you can always go straight to Youtube and check out this video along with a few other ones I’ve done. The link is just right below:

Life Challenges leading to Life Changes!
(Click Link)

Oh, and if you’re ever interested in sharing your own insight, perspectives or a story that could help someone else then don’t forget to check out my “Guest Post” series here:
NEW! Submit Your Story Through My New Guest Post Series.

 

Until next time,0f028b83b74626f9cd78703bd23670a4
Namaste friends!

 

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The Significant Ways Having Role Models Can Lead To Success!

37ebf18e0cef888991a483599d69aeb0Do you have a role model that inspires you to set ambitious goals and motivates you to do your best? See, typically that’s the way we think about role models. But the reality is that a “role model” isn’t clearly defined. It doesn’t always have to be the person on stage discussing life lessons. Learning from role models has another side to it also. Learning what NOT to do is often times just as important if not more important than learning what TO do.

This year I’ve learned the most about my expectations, values, and goals simply by watching the way others either succeeded or failed.

c1e088243079191ff941f17239b09bdbAs things become more clear to me–despite the several challenges that kept landing on my lap, I managed to fall more and more into a life I wanted to live, not one that I just kept waiting for. I stopped hoping life would happen the way I wanted it to and began to work for the life I wanted. This is because I had invested so much time into learning what others were doing to live their authentic life; I found role models that helped me get where I wanted.

Ironically, my Mental Health Diagnosis started my journey into journaling (than blogging) and personal development. When I was unexpectedly diagnosed with Bipolar 2, and your brain starts to think, act and behave in such a challenging way– you suddenly realize what’s important in life. I also was desperate to find things that’d help when I was feeling down or uncomfortable in my own skin. So I looked to role models– people that had qualities and skills that I wanted. Over time, I started stumbling across people in real life, attending personal development events & was discovering people all over social media who felt just like me. I could relate with these people so intimately that I almost felt like I had all these virtual besties & they had no idea who I even was, ha! They were inspiring and displayed the courage I wanted to have. They conquered goals I dreamed of doing. They became my role models. I follow them regularly and apply their knowledge into my everyday life as much as possible.

55a258a71d7861c1594209db9bfb47d4That’s one of the lessons I’ve learned this year & it’s changing my life. You can learn from other people, you can find role models and learn something from them without having to go through the challenge yourself.  It’s such a great tool to use once you realize that you don’t have to walk through every struggle firsthand, you can learn from another person’s mistakes and avoid making them yourself. Save yourself some trouble.

c4a82f8938bead28175b6f9e2267ce69.jpgWhen you think of a role model, who comes to mind? For me, Role Models aren’t just the podcasts and blogs that changed my perspective (although the people who invest their time to better peoples lives are thee most powerful role models out there to me). It’s also not limited to the people in my family whom I love and admire. Role Models can be anyone YOU learn from, real people that you may not even know. Tony Robbins for example.

Just this year,  I gained this new perspective on role models when I saw some of the most beautiful people leave our world & their family remained resilient. They exhibited enormous amounts of strength in the midst of loss; one the worst experience we endure as human beings. That was inspiring. Something I can’t imagine doing without seeing someone else do it first. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I saw someone lose everything they had due to the adversities and uncertainty in life. Their home, friends, family, car and it was heartbreaking. I learned how powerful you have to keep your state of mind! These lessons that other people went through taught me life lessons that I hadn’t learned yet and wouldn’t know today had I not been focused on developing myself by understanding how important role models are.

So I’ll challenge you this week to pay closer attention to the people that inspire you. What qualities do they possess that you want? What can they offer you that’ll bring value to your life? And how much effort are you putting into yourself to take the action you need to in order to receive the results you want?
American theologian Tyron Edwards  said, “People never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher and better than themselves.

So I’ll leave you with my final thoughts here:

  • Become the best version of yourself. Learn from others’ actions and qualities and use them to improve your existing characteristics, you will become someone else’s role model one day.
  • Pick the right role models; people that can help you; looking up to someone who has made a great change in the world– it will encourage you to do the same
  • Learn from others how to overcome failure, drawbacks, and challenges: Learn from not only your mistakes but the mistakes of others. Understanding how your role models overcame their obstacles will help you prepare to deal with future drawbacks.
  • Have an open mind: It’s important to always be open to learn and listen. You don’t want to miss out on an opportunity to learn from someone.

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Remember that role models provide a “guide” for us and their not someone we need to follow exactly. Believe in yourself, become clear on your vision and values and continue to personally develop yourself so you’re living the most fulfilling life.
Namaste Friends,
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My recent Interviews featured on websites; From Trauma To Motherhood To Why I’m Blogging.

I have been quite the procrastinator lately. I admit. But I wanted to pass along some of the sites I’ve been featured on recently along with a few guest posts/contributions I made to other blog sites. All three interviews/stories include information I don’t normally share on the blog so if you’re interested or have some free time, check out the links below and let me know what you think. The connection with other people is one of the best benefits of blogging and I can’t tell you how excited I am about the amount of genuinely great people I’ve met or organizations I affiliate with now. Many more to come… And don’t forget you can submit your story on this page today. Read more about that HERE.

⇒One particularly was with an organization that has given me so much information and resources when I was first diagnosed with Depression and Bipolar. It’s an absolutely life-saving resource and built from a fabulous group of people.  It has unlimited opportunities for you to learn, volunteer, contribute, advocate and much more.

quote-the-struggle-is-part-of-the-story.jpgThe name of the organization is the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. The link below will take you to a raw, real backstory of where I came from and how I’m dealing with Mental Illnesses today. I’d encourage you to take a look at the story if you can relate to Mental Illness, but more so I hope you browse the website and find it as helpful as I did.

download

My story (Click the link below) 
DBSA- Meet Carrie



A fun interview I did was with a gal who I connected with via Twitter. She’s bringing awareness to working mothers. What better way to contribute to women supporting women. We can always use some of that, right? The interview is a quick read but was a great way for me to reflect on my parenting journey. Check out MiMi’s site too, she has tons of cool things to offer. The interview I completed with her is linked below. It’s my perspective and advice as a working mom. 

Click the link below:
Working Mom Series- Carrie Doran


⇒ This short, but sweet interview was with a new blogger who has a sincere passion for building a community. She looks for people to interview and she we had such a genuine connection. It’s a quick read on how I started blogging and some random other facts I probably don’t share on here too much. Check out her blog and read the guest post I contributed by clicking the link below:

Click the link below:
Power of the Mind– Feat. Carrie Doran everyone-has-a-story-everyone-has-gone-through-something-that-6118023.png

Thanks for reading along, I appreciate you! I’d love to hear your feedback or comments. Remember, your story can inspire others. You don’t have to suffer in silence. You have a community of people rooting for you!


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NEW! Submit Your Story Through My New Guest Post Series.

Well Hello There!

Lately, I’ve been losing sleep and staying up all night watching personal development video after video. Youtube and I have a love-hate relationship right now.

Either way– It led me to learn one of many epiphanies; specifically, I’m talking about the power of community. So many people out there blog because of the entrepreneur benefits, the money it may bring them, etc. That’s totally fine! I realized though that my passion isn’t to be my own boss, it’s more so to lift people up because we rise when we’re helping other people rise.

Whether I’m the most popular blogger out there or not– I’ll use what influence I do have to help people. To me, I think it’ll be really helpful if others were able to share their story with overcoming life challenges, finding fulfillment and the trials and triumphs of Mental Health. So many of the emails I get have the same theme– they “could never talk about their struggle, it’d be too hard”. I’ve been there and totally understand. But I’m going to challenge them to talk about their challenges because it’ll help so much more than people realize.

That’s why I’m going to start a “Guest Post” series.  You may be wondering what the heck is the benefit of guest posting? Well, I believe our stories have the power to break down barriers. Blogging has allowed me to reflect and learn so much by connecting with a community of like-minded people. I believe that the community can benefit even more by allowing others to use this platform to share their story and inspire others. Through sharing we all find a common ground, inspiration, hope, meaning, and, ultimately, action.

If you are interested in learning more about it, I have all the information below. You can also submit/research more about it by visiting my new page: SUBMIT GUEST POST.

guestpost1.pngThis is why I’ve decided to begin a series of “Guest Posting” that I can feature on the site. The stories you’ll hear will remain true to what I write about and what I believe in and will continue to reach the thousands of readers who follow along both on the blog and through social media.

HOW TO PITCH YOUR STORY:
I’m looking for submissions that are true and relevant to the theme of this blog. Essentially that is using your own personal story about:
-The journey with Mental Health; including the trials and triumphs.
-Teaching others how you turned obstacles into opportunities.
-Insight into a certain life challenge and sharing how you overcame it.
-Overcoming hurts, habits, and hang-ups so others can feel empowered to do the same.
-Situations that helped you become more resilient.

So, if you are interested in Guest Posting than all you have to do is read the few guidelines below and follow the instructions on how to pitch your story.

TO PITCH YOUR STORY: 
Please read the information below and then send an email to carriedoran9@gmail.com. If it’s easier, you may also submit it through the contact form at the bottom of this page.

Please include the following in your Guest Post Submission email:

A short pitch. Your pitch should include:
Two or three topics for articles that you think would be a good fit for this site
Links to 2 examples of your best-published work.
Please include a link to your own website and a brief author bio
Last, please title the email “GUEST POST” so we can be sure to receive it.
Once your materials are received, we will discuss the specific guidelines, benefits, and deadlines for your featured post.
If you have any additional questions, contact me directly! I’m here to help. & most of all, a sincere thank you for wanting to share your voice and presence in our community.

 

 

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4 Lessons That People Admit They Learned Too Late & How You Can Avoid Making The Same Mistakes.

I’m a pretty deep person as it is, I’m so awkward at small talk because I just want to talk about deep life topics in conversation. So this is my warning that I get deep into thought when I feel my perspective changing. These lessons hit home.

Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to hear from a doctor what your life expectancy timeline is? Maybe it happens to someone close to you or maybe it will soon– it’s a really, incredibly hard time. But Imagine you’re in a doctors office and the doctor says to you, “You have three years left, at most”. Well, I don’t know about you, but that terrifies the shit out of me, just thinking about it hypothetically. Not death– I don’t find that so scary. What terrifies me is that I’ll wake up one day and realize I didn’t do half the things I wanted too.

About three years ago, I was 24 and my state of mind just never considered the importance of living in the present moment.
-I never took action towards goals I really wanted because I cared too much what people would say.
-I mainly worried about petty things like how I needed new shoes, missed a friend’s get together or any topic that really wouldn’t matter in a few days.
Essentially I just didn’t think too deeply into the true purpose of my life.
I was on autopilot. 

But over the last few years, a lot has changed. Today, I spend a lot of my time (I’ll be honest.. nearly all my free time) watching, listening and learning from people I consider to be role models and people that inspire me to do what it takes to live a fulfilling life. I am infatuated with the idea that you can change and grow, it’s been the journey of a lifetime diving deep into the meaning of life and so I constantly feel the need to keep learning and adopting skills that make me live authentically and with intention.

Below are the 5 lessons that I’ve heard over and over again. I think that’s because they happen to be the common theme in personal development; they’re considered to be the most important ways we can change our current mentality and behaviors to live the best life and become our best selves. No matter how different we all are, I’m sure we can agree that the last thing we want to do is look back and reflect on our life only to realize we missed out on so much.

So here are the 5 lessons that most people report they learned way too late in life:

6b50232ea6234a1eb32b3d12286ddf34.jpgDON’T SLEEPWALK THROUGH LIFE:
Start by imagining that you have to look for the job that you want, not because you needed one. Would it be the exact thing you’re doing today, tomorrow and probably for the foreseeable future? Sleepwalking through life is emphasizing all the time we spend not pursuing the things we want most. Some of us are spending 50+ hours somewhere unfulfilled & that means you’re not actually living. We sleepwalk through life when we say, “I’ll do this and I want to do that too, eventually.” Why are we waiting? We know that tomorrow isn’t promised.  It’s wasting precious time when we could be taking action. Its wasting time hoping for something instead of taking the action to really be doing something. Something that what we love doing. Realistically, you’re not always going to love your first job, but that doesn’t mean we should give up and settle. Keep searching for the things that fulfill you with the precious time you’ve been given and don’t give up before you find it.

35243336_10208995219317556_588587802917076992_nLIVE LIFE WITHOUT FEAR
Oh, Fear. The powerful emotion that stops us from living life and doing the things we want. Will Smith was the one who inspired me to take the right steps towards conquering fear and I’ll share what he said because I don’t think anyone has really put it into such a powerful perspective like he did. To conquer fear, you have to adopt one concept– confront fear, daily. You have to confront it daily because fear lies. It tells you things or makes you believe things that aren’t actually true. The problem with fear is that it lies. Fear tells you things that aren’t true and makes you believe things will happen that most likely won’t happen.  He used the example of how in the dating world, it has this weird rule where “you can’t text back the person you start talking to too soon because they  will think I like them too much, or they’ll think *fill in the blank with some other weird thing they’re most likely never thinking*. His analogy was such a perfect example of how Fear tells you dumb stuff like that. The daily confrontation with fear has to become a real practice. Because if it isn’t practiced than fear will grab ahold of you for days, throughout the night, all the way up until the moment you realize months and years later how much fear has held you back from things you can’t imagine you missed out on. We didn’t need to carry that fear around with us if it wasn’t serving a purpose.  The lesson that many people learned later in life is that the best things in life are on the other side of terror; on the other side of fear. Like when people want to become a musician or try to run their own business but are so afraid of failing they never even tried. So instead of turning away from it, confront it.

STOP COMPLAINING-
What if I told you that today was the last Sunday of your life? Would you complain about your crap homework assignment that’s due? Would you complain about the co-worker you can’t stand? I’m so guilty of doing this not too long ago. But this lesson is a work in progress for me. If this was really our last Sunday– we go into a much higher & deeper level of thinking. If we remembered that there is opportunity everywhere we go, we’d hold our heads high with optimism and positivity. Instead, we get bogged down by the things we have to do– school, work, this, that– and we forget that there is so much life right here. It’s a beautiful time to be alive.  So challenge yourself to take a step back and think about how awesome it actually is to be alive, in this era, right now, at this moment. Than recognize you can attack the world in a totally different way, a way that brings you enlightenment and happiness. Because the truth is that we should feel lucky just to be alive– let alone alive during one of the most wonderful eras in our history.

KNOW YOUR DESTINATION-
How many times have you made a simple problem so much more complicated than it needed to be? I know I have. That’s because we use our own creativity and problem-solving skills throughout the journey of life which end up distracting us from focusing on our destination. We get so fixated on the journey and get distracted where we are headed. For example, if someone told you to walk in a straight line to the chair across the room.. it’d be easy, right? But if someone placed a chair in the middle, you can’t just walk straight ahead, and everything comes to a grinding halt. You’ll analyze, think, make decisions, then change your mind. Maybe you’ll make a turn and end up going in a different direction…eventually never making it to the intended destination. This simple analogy is how so many of us deal with life and the obstacles that come our way. This is the problem I believe this lesson is trying to emphasize: what we do in life is we take a look at all the steps we are taking along the journey–and never look at our destination. A clear destination makes obstacles easy to overcome, but if we don’t know where we are going than those obstacles take us wherever we end up; not where we want to be. Life is full of obstacles, there isn’t an instruction book or a “straight line” we can follow. What we can do is stay focused on our destination and we’ll find it within ourselves the strength, courage, problem-solving skills, everything you’ll need to overcome the obstacles. It’s not at all about what you want to achieve, it’s about arriving at your destination, it’s about what you want to achieve. That’s how you become fulfilled.  It’s not a straight line, but it’s one direction.

b1a0366b38c3aea0a0c6cc3e26a7d2c6We’re all a work in progress and some of us learn these different skills and valuable lessons at different times. We aren’t born with all this wisdom, but through progress, we develop it. So let’s all begin a small challenge this week by taking a really close look at these lessons and trying to apply what we believe will bring value to our lives. One step at a time we become the best versions of ourselves.

Any tips missing from this list that you’ve learned? Please share below. Oh, and I finally set up a mailing list where I can connect more personally with people.

Subscribe below if you’d want to connect.
Subscribe to Carrie’s Newsletter (CLICK HERE)

Namaste! Harbers

The Candid Truth About Anxiety & Ways To Deal With It

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Well Hello There!
How are you doing?

Just being completely candid; I’ve felt tired, mentally and physically. I couldn’t find the inspiration to even write.  I barely could get myself to care about my homework that was due— in all honesty, I missed several assignments. I have been having panic attacks driving ever since my car accident a month ago when my car was totaled and I don’t even like to go into crowded grocery stores right now. Anxiety (and the other endless mental illnesses I have) have  had a tight grip on me for about two weeks now. But finally it’s lifting a little bit. The silence isn’t as scary. Breathing is a lot easier today and the world looks a little brighter. 
il_340x270.1324658998_1agpThat’s when I realized how much control anxiety can have over someones life. What better way to learn than personal experience? So while insomnia kept me up for days the last few weeks, I spent hours researching, listening and watching videos about anxiety. I’m finding the answers I needed to know and I feel they are  worth sharing.

A little anxiety is good for all of us, right? We understand our fight or flight response has kicked in and that means physical danger is nearby.  But what if your body kicks into this adrenaline rushed state of mind when there isn’t any physical, real danger nearby? That’s just one  half of how anxiety feels. Constantly 

Than there is worry. A little worry is normal. Most people worry about finances, plans, work, money, health, etc… the normal parts of life. But when we begin to experience emotional distress from our pervasive, excessive, uncontrollable worries; and we’ve reached the other half of what anxiety feels like. Painful both emotionally and physically. 
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Those that live with anxiety know exactly what I mean when I say we live in a state of mind that’s constantly experiencing a fight-or-flight response; only there isn’t a reason for it. Just a clenching tight chest, shortness of breath & physical exhaustion. Our thoughts, emotions and physical response have been  kicked into high gear and sometimes it’s from tasks that make no sense like simply shopping at the store, being  out with friends or without any reason at all. 

Eventually anxiety caused me to  lose complete control over my own thinking and I couldn’t stop the excessive worrying about everything which eventually led me to feel most comfortable when I was alone, isolated from the world. I knew if I was alone– than I have a lesser chance of encountering anymore painful panic attacks. The fear of anxiety is so real and it holds me, along with many others, back from experiencing the fulfilling parts of life. Someone once said, “Anxiety is explained most simply like you’re drowning, but there is no air for you to breathe”. I think that’s a spot-on explanation. 

Eventually though, we all stop and think: “What kind of life am I living, What am I getting out of living like this ? How much longer can I go on like this?”

anxiety-symptomsI know anxiety can be debilitating and take control of every aspect in your life– social life, jobs, friendships, dreams and aspirations.. simply everything.

But what if we decide today that it doesn’t get to do that anymore. Making this change is  not going to be easy, it’s going to take a lot of work. But it’s something I am working on everyday and even seeing the littlest bit of progress has kept me hungry to learn more and more about the ways I can remove this anchor from my foot that’s kept me drowning for far too long. I know that if I can do it, anyone can do it.
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The moment I decided I needed to become proactive in managing my anxiety and start building the courage to ask for help was when I became a mother.  I couldn’t stand the thought of letting my anxiety control me when I’m in charge of raising a little one. So finally,  I sought help, went to therapy religiously, became more educated about anxiety disorders and although I’m nowhere near perfect– I continue to work on managing anxiety day by day using the skills I learned when I first started getting help.  Even if I take three steps back, I’m still moving forward from that debilitating place that anxiety once held me in. I forget during these hard times that I’ve been here before, that I have the skills to be resilient. And isn’t it amazing the incredible amount of strength and hope that we can all tap into to during pain?

It is possible to change and control your anxiety. Step by Step and little by little; YOU will see progress.

What’s worked for me when I’m anxious? good question.
The list is always being refined as I make breakthroughs or regress.
But I still force myself to find something positive to focus on.
These little steps below are what I’ve found to be helpful for me:

  • I started to write what I was grateful for. It sounds cliche, but changing your worrisome state of mind into a more positive one is powerful. 
  • I started to drink more water. and I hate water..
  • “Be kind to my mind..” is my personal mantra. It reminds me to be patient with myself because I’m doing the best I can. It stops me from entering the cycle of worrying.
  • I remember to rest, often. With insomnia, my body can get in bad shape if I don’t put it to rest.
  • The present moment is more than enough. I refuse to stay stuck in the past or future. 
  • Slow down my breathing– mindfulness is the most powerful tool for me in regards to anxiety.
  • I Shut off the stimulants– no phone, computer, tv. Just the moment I’m in.
  • I ignore the negative self talk and excessive thoughts by reconnecting with myself. Even if that sounds crazy, talking to yourself really does help!

This website below gives some really good information on anxiety, the science behind it and most importantly– a variety of ways to cope with it. I hope you take a few minutes to check it out. I think you’ll find at least one thing useful! Education can be such a great motivation. I found it helpful to learn, study and listen about anxiety for a long period of time until I started to find strategies that worked. Understanding anxiety helped me control it immensely (link below)
“This Way Up” (About Anxiety)

539f5cddd5b517cd73237d2c0702af11-e1535146920299.pngSometimes pain prevents us from understanding our purpose.  I know in the pit of this darkness that hope seems so unattainable. But hold on because you have a bright and amazing future on the other side of this challenge. You have all the courage you need right inside of you to make a decision and control this “giant”. — it doesn’t need to hold us back anymore. The real point of me sharing this story is not to bring focus to me or my story exclusively. It is to show how taking the courageous step to reach out for help changed my life tremendously and changed my life quickly. It will do the same for you!

29542236_10208606809327549_7980654487013811350_nNone of us are alone in this battle. My anxiety issues are still extremely relevant and I deal with the battle on a daily basis. But the battle now is one that I embrace. We all have different characteristics and challenges–mine just happens to be an anxiety disorder….(or two or three other disorders if we’re being honest). Don’t forget your purpose. We can’t disover it without a little pain. 

If you believe you can, you can. You’re stronger than you know and braver than you think.  

 

 

Harbers

I’d LOVE your opinion please—New Products Coming Soon!

 

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Your Opinion matters to me! 

A link below to a quick survey:

Quick Survey on Motivational/Mental Health Products

I want to know what YOU want/need!


We are just entering a time in this world where it’s somewhat okay to talk about Mental Health. But, we still have a long way to go before treatment is adequate, the stigma dies out and products/resources are readily available.

Because I will be committed to the Mental Health Community for the rest of my life, I’d love to create products and resources that help us and motivate us! Helping you, and this community, is my priority.

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So please take just a few moments to fill out this short survey below that will tell me more about your wants/needs. Your feedback and suggestions are most invaluable. All responses are anonymous.

Thank you so very much for your time, for your opinion and for being a part of this adventure!

Here is a quick survey that’ll help me finalize right products:


9780415887410

Youtube: Learning to Love Yourself in 2018 (recap)

Hey There Loves,

I’ve been deciding to switch up some of my blogging posts to vlogs. This was what a survey I posted back a while ago told me would be more helpful for people who didn’t always have time to read.

So here is a vlog with added thoughts and insights I’ve been using to Love Myself more in 2018. This goes back to my post: How to believe in yourself when nobody else does.

If you have a minute– Please help support the new channel I created on the large and in charge world of YOUTUBE. If you have one minute to spare–please drop a comment or subscribe to my page. It’d be much greatly appreciated! This new YouTube adventure is quite the change and challenge *hehe*.

Wishing you all the best, always. And don’t forget I’m here, as someone who relates, if you ever need anything. Carriedoran9@gmail.com 

Love you all.

 

How to move forward on days you are fighting Depression? Here is how & most importantly, why!

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“It is estimated that nearly thirty percent of those diagnosed with bipolar disorder will attempt suicide at least once in their lives. The suicide rate for people with bipolar disorder is twenty times that of the general population.” and “The annual suicide rate in the U.S. is over 13 deaths per 100,000 population.” (Source: CDC)

The battle is real.

It seems like it comes out of nowhere–  The bad days piled on top of each other, the insecurities subconsciously revealed and eventually the dark, depressive episode that’s been anticipated for some time has come. Even with practice, a lot of time spent learning how to self-coach and how to develop helpful strategies plus a variety of natural supplements– I think that I am getting better at finding the right strategies for me; the tools I can use to help ease the symptoms of Mental Illnesses. But living with this new world and drastically difficult experience of Bipolar II leaves me clueless on some days.  I still have so much to learn. And part of this learning process is understanding the disorder more and more along with understanding how to best combat the powerful symptoms that show up uninvited.

Like, the inevitable emotion of “feeling alone” that is stronger than any other emotions today. A loss of connection, which is the one thing that truly makes my world go round, leaves me feeling so isolated and living in a part of a world that’s different than the rest of society lives in.  The Mental Health Community knows these feelings all too well– we never welcome them, but we know how to overcome them more and more because of pure experience and from practicing different strategies that get us through these incredibly tough moments.

ashleigh1On some days, like today, the worst is just beginning– the self talk inside our head starts to develop and begin telling you a story that isn’t your story. Yet it’s heard with such persuasiveness that you can fall into it’s trap in a moments notice; If you don’t have a set intention and a strategy. The self talk begins the same way; that it’s “just you– nobody else who feels like this. You’re the crazy one. No other mom has depression like this, or even… Bipolar. And no other wife has low moments like this. Plus, your in your twenties, Carrie? Something has to be wrong with you— (with us, right?) Maybe we are the crazy ones after all” and that’s how the self talk begins to get a grip on our lives. Our symptoms make us feel like the strength we’ve built up after all these years has dissolved overnight and we suddenly we feel defeated in a world we were just on top of yesterday.  So as that tape of negative self talk replays over and over, reminding you of the things you suck at and ambitions you ‘won’t ever amount to’… you’re faced with two options.

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Option 1) Let it feel so real it becomes your reality. As it takes over as your new reality, It will begin to isolate you into a world so far away from others. You’re not aware of how your insecurities are developing into the negative self-talk that shows up during these episodes so that self-talk becomes so loud that the noise inevitability destroys your perception of yourself and the beautiful world around you. Your Mental Illness defines you and there is just a small sliver of hope that you’re barely holding onto as days fade into months.

Or option 2) Stand up and Step Up.  It’s a battlefield in your mind. One you didn’t ask to be apart of but now you’re here. It’s a reality only you can pull yourself out of—even though you didn’t pull yourself into it. Don’t give up and cry. Show up and try. Cry because you are trying your hardest. Cry because you’re trying your best to believe in yourself more than you believe in a Mental Illness defining who you are. With the courage inside you, stand up and say that not another day these thoughts get to paralyze me OR you or all the millions of others who deal with this… Today, we start to notice how our inner self talk is affecting us. Is it positive, do we talk to ourselves with love and compassion or with doubt and impatience?  We can begin to develop our strategies that will help us on these dark, depressive days– After all, we have had a lot of practice. This is why we will choose to move forward when everything in our mind tells us it’s easier to give up.

Today, we can choose if we want to get into bed; But we aren’t going to be forced to bed paralyzed, by our thoughts, because of depression. Not another wasted day where the world feels so big that you can’t ever possibly compete. This feeling is normal to 1 out of every 5 people, you are not alone despite that record playing in your head.  It’s a symptom of many Mental and Physical illnesses, but today I want you to find the courage and strength to say, “Yes” to life and “no” to the symptoms that have the power to dictate our life, only if we aren’t intentional in our recovery.

Some days, it’s much easier to get past the symptoms of Bipolar Depression because I’ve been learning my triggers, I’m working on self-coaching and the way I talk to myself.  I am observing the environments that push me into these pits of hell. I keep looking for the lesson I can use in every low moment so that next time, I’m just a little bit stronger.  Don’t ever let this illness let you forget that before these illnesses came, lived a person inside all of us, that is filled with potential, courage and so much strength. That person still exists and still has so much positive influence in the world & an incredible amount of  power.

It’s easy to lose sight of that on these dark days, I completely understand. I’ve been there. Today, I am there.  But it’s not impossible to gain back that sight of who you really are and where you’re going. This isn’t a permanent place of mind, it’s a temporary stop that we have to embrace in order to become who we really are. 362b26472785ab5bdf449d8f607eadaa

People believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself. That’s why I’m sharing this extremely low point that I am in today, –to provide some of you with  hope and the reminder we all need from time to time that is: with strength and a hunger to thrive beyond this illness, we develop skills that make us resilient. We can persevere past these days and learn a little something along the way. Be kind to your mind! You are not alone. You are filled with the courage and strength that equips you to handle these battle.

af06b730b933c46322041195845dcce9If today is one of your low days– I’ll be the first one to say– you’re a great mom and doing the best you can because you have’t given up. Your child will look up to you for your resilience and will know that you never gave up– a skill that will be embedded in them for life and one they will need to be successful. Maybe your a wife too; the healer and fixer of all things, on so many days.  But not even Wonder woman could save the world in one day. So today, stop and relax and don’t feel ashamed about it.  Be kind to your mind because that’s how we learn to control this Illness and stop letting it control us. Check out this “prescription” for better Mental Health and see if any of them are things you can see yourself using.

My strategies on depressive days usually revolve around the actions below:

  1. repeat positive ” I can” statements.
  2. Reach out to a friend I trust
  3. Write down five things I’m good at and 5 topics I’m grateful for.
  4. Than shower and sit in the water with no interruptions. This helps me retreat to my safety place and calm my anxiety. I’ll take as many as 4 showers in one day if it helps.
  5. and meditate, meditate, mediate. It helps you ground yourself, reconnect to yourself and feel more in control. They have YouTube and podcasts that are short and totally doable at work or at home! Look up positive affirmations, or self confidence affirmations and complete the exercise, mindfully.

Take a look at online resources. Small things below might benefit you more than what benefits me because after all– we are all unique and have different symptoms:
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“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”              -Helen Keller

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. I’m always here as someone who can relate.  Check out resources, articles and podcasts that will help you strengthen your skills. Don’t forget to believe in yourself and rely on the strength and courage that continues to move you in the right direction.
img_1776Carriedoran9@gmail.com— in case you ever need someone.

How to believe in yourself when nobody else does.

33a499b74d7d356e2180e02ae2dd6e53There are days when even my loved ones don’t believe in me.
I’ve let them down before, it’s bound to happen again.
And when I look into their faces all I see is my past; failures, let downs, put downs.
You make 10 steps forward only to eventually take 9 back and it feels like failure.
So than you’re left feeling alone, right? Feeling like all you have is… you.
& although that use to keep me up at night and leave me feeling so alone
all I see now is light and opportunity because I started to truly understand my potential, lean into me and chase my dreams with a drive so strong that it feels unbreakable most days.

I realized that there are few things you just can’t learn from the textbook, it’s something you have to live through from pure experience and hardships. I learned how to believe in myself, finally, I learned how to talk to myself with the intention of being constantly positive and it tuned out the negative noise that kept holding me back.  I realized that all the obstacles I had faced which got me to the point I’m at today, in this moment, was done by me.

196399430c1203a3061f8731fa8e9836If you too struggle with feeling misunderstood, than use it as fuel. Use it to power yourself into taking action. There is extraordinary power and skills that comes from believing in yourself. Nobody will call you up to tell you how great your idea was, like we hope for.
Getting what you want and making the most out of the time you have requires you to put yourself in a position to succeed. YOU see the finish line before one even exists!

People might support you, encourage you and be there for you. But you bring the hard work which achieved the goal you want. Just like you can’t build a business on potential only, you can’t live your life relying on others to always be your motivation. Results are binary. You either accomplish or you didn’t. You either won or lost. People only see the result of our actions.

So that means every step we take from here on out depends on: you and your thoughts. Me and My thoughts.

How we internalize failure and how we deal with setbacks are situations that only WE can figure out. Nobody will pat us on the back when we overcome them.  And quitting is simply not an option so believe in yourself, even if you’re the only one sometimes.

You have more waiting for you
You’re cloaked in confidence
And one day they’ll look at what you built, and say how lucky you are…

But they wont understand the obsessive and compulsive work drive you dedicated time after time. the rest of the world might turn around  but believe in your greatness. it is THERE. and you need to know it’s there. your self belief will define you.

Go after all the adventures. Dream and don’t be afraid to live in  the clouds. Live like you designed the day. You got to want it bad. And it’s so easy to quit, to give-up. You’ll want to cry, but don’t cry and quit. Cry to keep going.

What can we do that will put us on firm footing in life? Some of us go through life and never tap into our potential.

If you don’t know what the meaning of your life is than make a conscious effort to figure out what you are suppose to do here on this earth and it can literally save your life. Do what you have to do to figure out you. Especially because fear and a lack of self esteem is what keeps us from doing what we want to be doing. We get stuck on a certain level and can’t see past our situations because fear is so subtle; it sneaks up on us. Fear aids us, puts us in the hospital, holds us back from doing things we know we can do but it’ll still paralyze us. like we are in a hypnotic spell. Fear is false evidence that appears real. It’s an illusion. It’s a state of mind that you can change. Expand your self-esteem by looking at yourself and where you are at in life right now than compare it to where you wanna be. Fight through the fear by talking to yourself. Turn your inner dialogue into a positive one.

7433e9d3d4c73b387a8d50c84a899e84When you go to work, you know what you’ll make.
When you’re driving, you know where you’re going.
These predictable patterns leave us with a lower self esteem because we aren’t exploring our true purpose in life, we aren’t working on ourselves. We are working to please the others.

Start by investing in you. New skills, new knowledge, make investments, read a book.

Don’t let your dream go. I didn’t want to make mistakes. I used to aim to be perfect. How great it’d be to be liked by everyone, but that’s not going to happen. Whenever you decide to take life on, Begin to fortify yourself. Begin to intentionally monitor your inner self-talk. The only really good things you will hear about you is from you. “I can do this. I can make this happen. I believe in me”.

It’s not over until you say it’s over. Take action. Seize the moment. Carpe Diem. Nobody knows you like you do, so believe in you even when nobody else does.

“It takes courage to become who you really are.”

XO,
Carrie

The biggest breakthrough I’ve had with Mental Health learned in 2 days.

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(My first ever Vlog linked below)

Before I attended my first self-love workshop, called JOYride in Las Vegas, I had no idea I’d walk out with a burning passion for life and to step into my purpose in life. I grossly underestimated what I learned over the course of two days at this event because the weeks leading up to the event were difficult.  My medication adjustments for Bipolar 2 left me feeling lost. I was tired, confused and mentally exhausted. I wasn’t looking for answers or taking action, I was just waiting around to deal with my next episode or bad day. Today, I know how to take back the power in my life. I learned and now practice developing a positive mindset so that I can create a positive Mental Health experience for myself. This didn’t seem like an option for me before. And I didn’t need to reinvent myself, I just needed to reconnect with myself.

This workshop allowed me to find clarity on my beliefs and values which than helps you see a clear future ahead of you (which is usually a discouraging topic because Mental Health is so unpredictable).

  Amanda Silvas, the event host, put together a beautiful weekend of activities that led to these breakthroughs. She and the woman who attended provided a space where we could be vulnerable and open about our insecurities.  I haven’t had to sit down and do tough inner-work, digging so deep and soul searching for what I want out of life. This was the first time that I was focused on just life, not life with Mental Health. Because of this, I felt my perspectives, attitudes and beliefs changing. And– this all happen during a 20 hour span which is kind of astonishing to me.

I want to share with you what I learned in the Vlog I made. I feel like I just lit a fire inside that I’m never going to put out and I want all of us to feel this way— we deserve it. Don’t ya think?

I challenge you, for you– to watch the video!
Take just a few minutes out of your day to do something for YOU.
You’ll understand the content and be able to do the same work in your own life.   You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

Let’s keep going on this journey, together!

IMG_2316& Don’t miss out on the next event in October. I promise you will want to be there. I’ll link the information to these incredible people who pour their talents into helping the lives of others & man, are they great at it. Here is where you can find some more information: https://www.facebook.com/bethatonepercentshop/?fref=mentions

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One way to stop Mental Health Stigma!

Greetings!
As some of you know, Mental Health is my passion; probably because I have experience in it. I write because it’s a form of therapy for me, but mostly I write to hopefully remind one person they’re just fine the way they are and they aren’t alone in their struggles. If we each shared our story, the stigma would lose its grip and we’d be closer than ever to taking its power away. Share your story with your Mental Health journey down below!!! (Continue reading 🌹)

I’ll be sharing this story on three different sites coming up in September-October. I figured I should ‘walk what I talk’ and be honest and vulnerable tonight. So I’m going to fill you in on my recent, most updated journey with Mental Health. And remember, you can share your stories of hardships too!

My life has always been a constant rollercoaster of chaos so I learned around 5 years old how to use coping skills that will help me remain calm so I can survive the chaos. With my parents divorced, two opposite parenting styles, a family history of drugs and Mental Health & a plethora of similar hardships; I have learned to live in a constant state of fight-or-flight….*hench the panic attacks on a regular basis**

I found out last year that around 14 years old was when my Mental Health Disorders developed. I was shocked the professionals pinpointed that so accurately because that is the exact age I had a drastic change in my behavior and thoughts. That’s when I started self-destructing my life to numb pain. I developed a tendency to isolate myself, it just felt more comfortable to me.  I was drinking nearly every weekend. I couldn’t concentrate on anything; not school, friendships or even conservations. I battled daily feelings of extreme stress, sadness, loneliness and anxiety. The symptoms of extreme stress began to deteriorate my physical health too. So finally after enough self-destructive decisions and progressively scary thoughts throughout my mind– For the first time, I talked with a doctor about my Mental Health experience and was diagnosed with PTSD, Generalized Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder at 20 years old.

I thought that getting answers and pursuing treatment would end my wild adventures with Mental Health, but I was sadly mistaken. Because I was misdiagnosed, the symptoms worsened and the medication I was given was not the right kind for my brain chemistry therefore, a dark, depressive episode was slowly building up inside.

In the meantime, I became a mom, a wife, and held down a good job all at the age of 26; something I wished I could feel so proud of all the time! But I couldn’t even get out of bed on certain days, I didn’t care how I looked, sometimes it took all I had to even make it to a shower, I either ate whenever I wanted or didn’t eat for days. I felt like I was stuck inside a body that I didn’t belong in and I was terrified of my own brain. I had a no lack of control over my impulses, m brain functions at a rate of at least 100+mph and I always went to bed wondering what type of mood I’d wake up in.

Feeling completely out of control inside my own mind led me to the deepest depression I have ever had. I was scared and exhausted all at the same time. This wasn’t how I was going to live the rest of my life so I set out to look for more precise answers from a Mental Health Professional facility. It’s hard asking for help, right?  But I am so glad I did because I finally have seen the light at the end of the tunnel after 14 years.

I still have episodes and hard days, but reaching out for help is what allowed me to live a happier and more productive life. I was properly diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (nearly 4 months ago) and due to the treatment I started, I have started to develop resilience to the adversities that come my way. I have hobbies again, laugh with people and I’m discovering who I am, for the first time in what seems like forever! I was able to grow the most when I realized that Happiness doesn’t start with a job or  money, but it starts with me, it starts with you. A powerful, positive mindset is a key to success for Mental Disorders and just for life, in general.

 Bipolar, Anxiety, Depression and PTSD are a huge part of me, but they don’t define me.

The persistence to find answers and get help is what saved my life. I am in control of my symptoms now and not the other way around. I’m a believer that all hard experiences can be turned into learning lessons. This one particularly helped me stop comparing myself to others and develop a strong self esteem. I know now that that the right path isn’t the same for everyone. A Mental Illness doesn’t make me (or you) any less than the person next to us.

 I want to help people understand that there are incredibly hard challenges that we are all bound to experience (especially when we have mental health disorders); but you, and me, and we have that resilience to persevere through any struggle. I’ve learned from experience that the world of Mental Health is multifaceted, making it hard to see the beauty and strength within us. But, ask for support. Reach out & connect. Remember, You are not alone. I hope people in a similar situation can see that Mental Illness isn’t always a bad thing, once it is under control, it can add personality and unique interpersonal traits that only you have. Persistence and Resistance help unlock the true you, the beautiful you— the unique you that just happens to deal with Mental Health.

Don’t forget to share your story, too~ Remember, one voice at a time stops stigma.

If you are in need of any support whether you are a family member looking to support someone or you may need it yourself: Check out the national website that has plenty of resources I think you’ll find helpful!
https://www.nami.org/

Sending you the most positive vibes!

The single, significant way I began to change my life..(Collab included too!)

Hello & a Happy Monday to each of you. I wanted to start by saying a simple and most sincere thank you… for being the crowd of special people that share & support happiness and discuss these different mental health Adventures! You’re the ones who help stop stigma and leave nothing off the table in conversation. Even when it’s hard, it’s people that motivate me most. The real type of people like you! Don’t forget to take my quiz so I can understand you better. A 30 Second Survey to better understand YOU!

This post I’m especially excited for because we have a guest visitor: The beautiful Bexa! A fellow blogger with a creative mind & who puts together beautiful crafts and creations. From the other side of America, comes her same love and admiration for reading. We connected over twitter & It was so easy to find out that both of us are huge bookworms! Today, she brings her own perspective on why she reads, how it helps her & she’s posting her favorite books too! I think you’ll find it very helpful, especially if you aren’t an avid reader. (Trust me—I’ve been there & totally understand you). Tag along her journey by following the link below & let me know what your personal experiences are with reading before you go! hellobexa.com

My experience is just one example of how reading can change your thinking and change your life.

The way I look at myself or the way we look at the world is often linked back to our perceptions. Our perceptions are shaped by our experiences. But what if we had the chance to re-do some of those experiences and memories that shaped us… would you?

Because I know I would.

Reading was that escape for me. That friend I could turn to when the world became too much. That teacher that taught me to look at myself in a new light. It’s the never-ending fountain of wisdom & knowledge that pours into your life and touches it so deeply that you never will be the same.

Harry Potter sparked my reading experience as a young girl, but just as quick as it came…I had high school to blame for ruining it. All the books you’re asked to analyze, read, write and complete homework on—I started to associate reading with stress and stopped reading for fun entirely.

I never picked up a book from the ages of 16 to 23. But then I entered a period in my life where my depression had just evolved, my anxiety was officially a disorder and my thinking pattern was so negative that I felt hopeless it’d ever ease up. I was desperate for something to help. That something which helped became a book; one called “Change your thinking Change your Life”(Link below… a seriously good must-read).

The knowledge I obtained from reading book after book after book is the only thing that encouraged me to start planning for my future, writing in a journal and improving my mindset when it came to setting goals.  The knowledge that author after author fed me was like food for my soul, it was so so good.

If you read enough books, some start to blend together and some just don’t stick. The greatest part about reading though is you have the power to become knowledgeable in an area you know nothing about and you can find a problem that still needs a solution. A small action that leads to a big result! Out of dozens of books, I know that I’m in love with some more than others, but I haven’t ever felt like it wasted my time. I always learn a new perspective, or some fact or life-lesson that I carry with me. This simple hobby had the most significant impact of on my mind. If your ever not sure about something in life, read about it.. I take it you do that already because you’re here, right?

Changing one bad habit at a time happens by challenging our beliefs, it comes from willpower and perspective change.

I promise you that reading is one of those habits you won’t ever walk away from and regret that you did it.

What are some simple ways you’ve began living a happier & healthier life?

PS. These are my favorite books, my bibles. They poured so much wisdom into my life that I’m eager for you to check them out. So I refrained from listing what they’re about in hopes you’ll click the picture and check out the book yourself. Do something for you today!

  1. Uninvited:
  2. Daring Greatly:
  3. The Ego-Less Self:

Don’t forget to check out Bexa over on twitter: 
https://twitter.com/hellobexa

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4 ways I prevent Emotional Overload as an Empath.

“You’re an empath”.

My aunt and I had the longest conversation about this word. She lives across the country and pronounces the word differently than I do here in Las Vegas. As we carried on our conversation, we kept stopping mid-sentence, as we pronounced “empath“, because we weren’t sure how it was actually pronounced. Now I pay closer attention when I hear people use that to describe either themselves or someone else. I wondered how this cool hipster term for “Empathy” was suddenly a word of it’s own and used with a separate definition?
It makes total sense though. Empath’s give their emotions to others. You can see another persons perspective, naturally. Empathy is so deeply rooted in who a person is. It has both positive and negative aspects to it. It’s a variety of characteristics that happen to make someone feel so deeply to another person that they can match their emotional state simply by that connection. It all sounds like feelings we should want to have, right? Well that’s what I thought.

Someone who has empathy understands it’s good sides, but they also are no stranger to it’s list of negative attributes too.

Once you know me, I hear I’m a deeply emotional person. Perhaps, like a lot of you! I know I am also very complicated, complex and unpredictable. I’ve been extremely sensitive since childhood. Large crowds, even places like Target or Costco on a hard day can be enough to shut me down emotionally. Especially if I’m not mindful about my emotions. It’s so easy to feel overloaded because emotional energy can only run around on ‘empty‘ for so long. Empathetic  individuals can struggle to find the balance, than absorb the impact of stressful emotions & trigger a plethora of bad habits, panic attacks or health issues. This pattern can be incredibly hard to identify and fix so the cycle repeats itself again and again.

a few tough mental breakdowns was enough for me to realize my bad habit of building up emotional needs that are way beyond my capacity. So I started reaching for resources to broaden and strengthen my balancing skills when it came to emotions.

Through practice, and patience, guidance and some bumps in the road; I have finally found some seriously helpful ways to keep me from tipping too far to one side. It’s a constant adventure where there is always a lot to be learned. As I keep experiencing life lessons and just the natural course of growing up; I remain open to the lessons I have yet to learn and so grateful for the ones I’ve already been using.

From experience, I learned that balancing your emotions is possible & such a better way to live. For me, I can handle being an Empath only by setting some boundaries, staying focused on things that motivate me, learning how to communicate & from tuning into when I can and should release emotions.

Motivation: Parenting is one way I keep myself accountable for trying my hardest to become a woman with healthy emotions. A child needs that stable and healthy adult figure to model and teach them the ways of life. Every moment around my little child I know I’m being watched as if I’m under a microscope. So because I need the energy to do what I have to do, I stay motivated to be emotionally healthy. Though I’ve wrestled with feeling the shame from not doing enough by the time I get home. I try to do whatever I got to do to keep that little bit of fire going all the way until I’ve gave it to him, and my husband and still have some for myself. It’s possible. It’s hard, but it’s possible to stay incredibly focused on the motivation that will get you across the finish line, mentally.

Boundaries: For me, Grandma taught me what it even means to have boundaries; and she helped me see how they actually play a much bigger role in life than I think most realize. But that’s a whole new topic for another day. Lesson learned: I need to have boundaries that help me stay fulfilled emotionally, and I don’t feel selfish about it either. One of my favorite ladies ever once told it to me this way; “If you were on a plane, they’d tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first & that way you can help others. In life, it should be the same.”

It’s brilliant. It’s the easiest way to visualize that your own emotional needs are important and need to be considered.

Talking, Talking and Talking. I’ve realized that men actually aren’t mind readers. People don’t really know what you’re thinking. I have to know when to communicate and how to communicate so that I can prevent a build-up or break down. Communication is part of a prevention plan and can protect you from feeling anxiety, unwanted, used and all the other negative self talk that comes naturally when we’re sad or mad. Even if I sound crazy, I’ll meditate with myself in order to be mindful of how my own self dialogue is. I hold a true value that honest and open communication is a must-have in relationships with friends, family, co-workers and yourself.

Release and Resilience. I need to keep practicing this, but from dozens of podcasts, websites and from my own personal experience; Releasing negative energy that I’ve absorbed is possible and easy to do. I just have a hard time discovering when too much becomes too much. But because of my own habit of absorbing too much, I’ve built a resilience against so many things that could’ve troubled me, but I let it fall behind. I reflect often how many times I haven’t felt resilient, but than I can just as easily reflect on the insane adventures through trials and troubles that left me with this resilient willpower to always find a way.

I’m fascinated by humans and all their quirky, unique differences. I could people watch all day because of this, but ask me to interact with them all day and I’ll have to mentally prepare myself. Empathy is one of those topics I could talk with you about all day, but I’ll remember forever the times I’ve pushed it too far before and felt the heavy consequences.

So cheers to the Empaths out there! Cheers for another beautiful day. Surprisingly, after a rough week, little things like this thunderstorm in Vegas right now make me feel great!

Wishing you the best.

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